


The IT Club

by That_Girl_Who_Is_WAY_Too_Cheerful



Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Douglas is a homophobic asshole, Fluffy teen romance, Gen, Highschool AU, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Non-Graphic Selfharm, Richmond is a main character now because I said so, angst in later chapters, how old are they? no one knows, if you like Douglas this is not the fic for you, this school is dodgy but I need it to be this way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26371252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Girl_Who_Is_WAY_Too_Cheerful/pseuds/That_Girl_Who_Is_WAY_Too_Cheerful
Summary: IT Crowd Highschool AU, set in Australia. Enough said, really.(Trigger warnings for gay slurs, internalized homophobia and non-graphic selfharm)Updates coming, on hiatus for now.
Relationships: Jen Barber & Maurice Moss, Jen Barber & Roy Trenneman, Maurice Moss & Roy Trenneman, Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman, Richmond Avenal & Jen Barber, Richmond Avenal & Maurice Moss
Comments: 35
Kudos: 20





	1. Textiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Reynholm College, Jen! This chapter is mostly just establishing all the characters!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for homophobic slurs
> 
> OH! It's mentioned twice with no context - a Stand Out club is a queer/straight alliance group.

Denholm Reynholm was a serious man. Perhaps to a fault, he mused, staring down at the young redhead before him. He see her mother watching him anxiously, but this was his way. Stare, size them up, and they’ll give you no trouble. 

Might as well be the school motto. Perhaps it was. Mr Reynholm was the principal, after all. 

“So. Jennifer Barber. Mrs Barber.” The girl jumped. 

“Just Jen is fine, please.” She squeaked, tugging on her skirt anxiously. Her mother nodded. 

“Alright then. Jen. Today is your first day.” She nodded. “Are you nervous?”

“I wasn’t but being here has made it… very real. Yes.”

“Right. Well you needn’t be. Here at Reynholm College-”

“It says ‘H S A’ on the sign, sir.”

“Well, yes, but it’s Reynholm Academy.”

“You said college?” 

“No, I did not. Now, as you know, if you had remained at your previous school, you would be repeating last year.” He planted his hands firmly on the desk and lent forward, “However. At my school, many of the subjects that resulted in you failing are not compulsory.” Jen looked up at him, hopeful. “But. I am an honourable man, and you still failed. So! So. I have decided. If you complete a year of an extracurricular activity, I shall allow you to move up with the rest of your year.”

“That sounds fair,” Jen’s mum smiled at her, “Doesn’t it, honey?” She squeezed her arm. 

“Yes. Yes. Thank you.” 

“Now! You must select one.” He turned and pulled a heavy binder from the shelf behind him. It made a large dusty ‘thump’ as it hit the desk. “Now… where are those extra curriculars? Ah, yes. Here.” He pointed at a page. Jen read through the short list, holding back a grin. Perhaps Mr Reynholm was the principal, and sure, he was a bit scary, but really he was just an odd old man. 

“The IT Club.” She pushed the binder back towards him. 

“Are you sure? You don’t strike me as, well, a nerd, Miss Barber?”

“Ah, no, but see, it’s that or a band. I don’t play an instrument, sir.” 

“Are those the only options?” He ran his finger down the list, “Not the Stand Out Club…? Oh, I see. I didn’t know we had one of those. Remind me to get rid of it.” He spoke directly to Mrs Barber. 

“Oh, um, I, uh, I don’t work for you, Mr Reynholm.” She stammered. 

“I can see that. Here’s your schedule, Jennifier.” He handed over a paper timetable, “But I trust you’ll be able to access it from your laptop. The IT club runs at lunchtimes. I expect you to be there, if you expect to stay in this year level.”

“Yes, sir.” 

“You’d best be off or you’ll be late for… Science, was it? Yes. Lockers will be given out shortly, but until then… well, just carry your bag. Good bye.”

“Thank you!” Jen pulled her bag up and over her shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright, Jen?” 

“Yes, mum, gosh, I’ll be fine. It’s just a new school!”

“I know, I know, but… Jen, you can’t mess this up, okay, honey? No more moving around because of your dad. We’re staying here, so you can’t just pass the essential subjects and ignore the others.” Her mum placed her hands on Jen’s shoulders, “Okay, Jen?”

“Yes, mum! I’m going to pass this year, I got to choose the subjects, remember? I’m going to be fine.” 

“Good. Now, off to class with you! I’ll pick you up at 3.”

“Bye mum.”

“Love you, honey.” Jen turned back and sighed. 

“Love you too, mum.”

***

“Oh god, Moss, I got  _ textiles _ .” Roy exclaimed, staring at his laptop screen in disbelief. He slid down the wall he was leaning against. “I’m gonna die, Moss.” Maurice looked up from his phone, rolling his eyes. 

“You’re not going to  _ die _ , Roy. It’s just-” 

“Sewing! Fashion! And… and  _ girls, _ Moss.” Roy threw his hands in the air, before covering his face with a sigh.

“So? You love girls.”

“Douglas is going to call me gay! Fuck, my  _ friends _ are gonna call me gay.”

“I’m your friend.” Moss shrugged, “I’m not calling you gay.”

“Well, yes, but you’re  _ Moss _ . Not Dan, or, or Luke, or Derrick. Or Barry!”

“They’re  _ jerks _ , Roy.” Moss turned his attention back to his phone.

“Oh, come on, Moss, really? They’re not that bad.” Roy shut his laptop and stuffed it back into his bag, dragging himself back to standing. 

“They like football, Roy. You hate football. All that mud, and mud and the mud … really, is there anything to it other than mud?” 

“There’s a ball involved. And it’s  _ footie _ , Moss, if anyone hears you say football…”

“Yes, Roy, I know I’m an embarrassment, keep it down.” Moss slipped his phone into his pocket, “We’re going to be late. See you at lunch, then.” 

“No, Moss.. I didn’t mean…” But he was already gone. 

***

Jen was very, very, very lost. The school had not seemed this big on the tour. And it was just her luck to get Science first thing on her first day, too. 

“Oh god, I’m going to be late.” She sighed, “Where on earth is this room?” The corridor in front of her seemed to stretch forever. “G3. Surely there’s a map around here, somewhere?” She spotted a pair of boys chatting. A last resort, she sighed again, turning around and willing a map to appear in front of her. 

“Oh bloody hell. That’s G3 there!”

***

“Oi, Roy! What’d you get?” 

“Hey! Dan! Uh.. you know, can’t really remember. Guess I’ll just turn up to the rooms.” Roy laughed nervously, holding up his hand for a high-five, showing the room numbers written down his palm. 

“Ah, they don’t match mine.” Daniel looked down at a scrap of paper in his hand, “Guess we don’t have any classes together this year. What about your IT buddy?”

“Not sure.” Roy lied. “Probably not, he’s accelerating maths and science, I think.”

“Bloody nerd. Heard he was a fag, too, would you believe it?”

“Moss…? Nah, he’s straight. Musta misheard.”

“Must of.” Dan shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets, “‘long as he doesn’t go hitting on you we’ll be right, anyway. You up for cricket, tonight? The whole gang’s gonna head down to the park, ring in the new year properly.” 

“Sorry, mum wants me home tonight, think my sister’s coming ‘round.” 

“She move out, then?”

“Yeah, staying on campus. Got sick of everyone, I suppose.”

“Yeah, yeah… Oh, there’s Derrick. See you at recess?” 

“Sure, usual spot?”

“Always.” Dan grinned, “See ya!”

“Bye…” Roy sighed, dragging his feet along the ground as he made his way to class. 

***

“People bingo!” The teacher announced cheerfully as she walked around the classroom handing out slips of paper. This was met with loud groans, followed by a shuffle of chairs as everyone got to their feet. Jen glanced around, confused, followed suit. 

“So, uh… what’s ‘people bingo’?” Jen held the sheet the teacher had given her out to the girl beside her.

“You’ve seriously never done this before? We do it like… every year. For every class. You just have to find a person for every box. You can put me down for ‘has a dog’. My name’s Renee. What about you?”

“Jen.” She smiled gratefully, “I have an even house number.”

“Nice, thanks. Are you new? You can hang with me for a bit, come meet my friends.” Renee began to walk away, “Come on!” She grabbed Jen’s hand. “Guys, this is Jen, she’s new.”

“Hey!” A girl with purple glasses looked up from her sheet, “I’m Emily.” She smiled warmly, before turning her attention back to the bingo, “I’ve got a younger brother.”

“Even house number.” Jen replied, grinning. 

“I’m Phoebe. I play piano.” Another girl chimed in, “I have a dog, too, if you’ve already filled the instrument one out.”

“Taylor, my birthday is in May.” The girl sitting next to Emily on the table had a vague Canadian accent, Jen noted. 

***

Having friends was nice, Jen decided. Not that she hadn’t had friends before, but they just hadn’t  _ mattered _ . They’d always move at some point. 

Anyway, compared to the loneliness she’d felt that morning, surrounded by this group of happy-go-lucky girls was just fine. And now she was off to her Textiles class with Emily and Taylor. 

Emily had not shut up, punctuating all of her words with gentle claps. 

“She’s happy to be back at school,” Taylor had smiled as Emily started talking to Josh, a boy who had seemingly materialized beside the group. (She’d later find out that Taylor and Josh were dating.) “She claps when she’s happy…” It was a rather vague observation, not even really directed at Jen, but it had made her feel included. Part of the group. 

“Why?” She found herself asking. 

“Not sure. Here we are.” They came to a stop outside a classroom. 

“Enjoy Textiles, you three.” Emily waved at them, continuing to walk, but backwards to continue waving. 

“You’re not in the class?” Emily shook her head. 

“I do vis comm over there.” She pointed, “But I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

“Oh, I have to go to the IT Club at lunch.” Jen sighed. She’d forgotten about that. 

“Oh god, really?” Taylor looked at her, “Good luck, those boys are…” She was cut off as Emily angrily yelled at a boy. 

“Oh, shut up,” She kicked him in the shins, “You know that that’s not what happened!” 

“Socially in-ept.” Taylor finished. 

***

Roy was not enjoying himself. Two boys in the class, and one of them was there for his girlfriend. Plus he had a bruise now, although he supposed that that was his fault. But he had to assert dominance somehow, shitty sex jokes worked fine. And that girl had it coming, anyway, chasing after Cameron like that. She was lucky, anyhow, he hadn’t called her a bitch. Daniel would have, he reasoned, but he hadn’t. That had to count for something. 

“You alright, Roy?” The teacher came up behind him, “Get on the website okay?”

“Yes, Miss.” God, who did she think he was? He knew his way around a laptop much better than she did, he could get onto a bloody website. About pajamas.  _ Bloody hell, he was going to die.  _

***

“So what’s it going to be, faggot, fairy boy?” Douglas shoved Richmond against the wall. “You going to leave the school, or do I need to get dad to expel you?”

“I’m not a boy.” Richmond pushed Douglas away, “And I’m not going anywhere.” They tried to sound tough, stronger than Douglas, but they were shaking. How could they have been so stupid, coming with Douglas? Of course he hadn’t wanted to apologise. The teacher had been right, shooting him a worried look as Douglas had asked him to come to the bathroom with him. Their mum had met with most of them behind Mr Reynholm’s back, asking,  _ pleading _ for them to keep an eye on Douglas, to protect her child. And yet here Richmond was. 

“Get out of my sight, fucking poofter. Can’t believe you. We were friends, you know? And you go and say you’re some  _ gender freak _ . I have an image to uphold, mate, I don’t want to do this, just say you’re normal and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Don’t call me mate.” Richmond pushed Douglas away again, trying to get out of the locker corridor, back to class. 

“Richmond!”  _ Maurice Moss _ . “What are you boys doing out of class?” Richmond cringed at the use of ‘boys’, but it was Moss. That was fine. He didn’t know. 

“Could ask the same of you,  _ nerd _ .”

“Teacher asked me to get something from her office.”

“Ha, suck up. Hurry along now, wouldn’t want to disappoint her, would you?”

“Are you going to let Richmond go?”

“Are you a fag too?” Douglas smirked, “Run along, faggot, you can’t protect your little boyfriend.”

“Leave him alone, Douglas. You can go, Moss, I’ll be fine.”

***

“What the hell happened to you two?” Roy dropped his laptop bag on the floor seeing Moss and Richmond sitting on the table in front of him, Richmond’s usually unexposed arms bruised and Moss wearing his spare pair of glasses.

“Douglas.” Richmond responded. 

“Fuck, really?” Moss nodded. “First day back…” Roy shook his head, “He’s a year younger than you, Moss!” 

“I know!” Moss willed himself not to cry. “But he’s stronger, Roy, and he broke my flipping glasses!” He turned away as he felt tears welling up. 

“What about you, Roy? You’ve got a bruise.” Richmond pulled their jumper back on. 

“Made a bad joke.” Roy mumbled, “But that’s nothing. I… I should go find that.. That bastard!”

“Roy, you know that’s a bad idea. He could have broken Richmond’s arms, and he was by himself. He’ll have his whole gang with him now.”

“‘Spose so.” Roy sighed, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “New teacher arrive yet?” 

“Not yet. Hence why we were sitting on the table examining bruises from the principal's son.” 

“Oh, yes, of course.” 

***

Socially in-ept nerdy boys. Exactly who she wanted to be hanging out with. At least she wasn’t lost, Jen sighed. Taylor had given her directions this time. 

The door of the room was glass, and she could see two - three boys in there already. Were there more?

“Only one way to find out.” She whispered to herself. 

Pushing open the door, she was met with bewildered stares. 

“Are you the new teacher?” The one closest to her asked. 

“Teacher…? No. Oh! You’re in my Textiles class, aren’t you? Am I in the wrong place?”

***

“Wrong place…? Oh! No, no, we’re not the Stand Out group. This is the IT club.” Roy could feel his cheeks burning. Of course, it was just his luck. The one girl to talk to him voluntarily in, well, forever, and she thought he was gay. 

“Stand Out…? What? No, I just thought, because you thought I was the teacher..?”

“OH! Oh, yes, yes, sorry!”

“We’re expecting a new teacher.” Moss piped up. “Hi. I’m Maurice, but you can call me Moss. That’s Roy there, and Richmond is the one under the desk.” 

“Jen. Jennifer. Call me Jen!” She smiled at Moss, holding out her hand. He took it. 

“Jen. Nice to meet you.”

_ Okay, so she didn’t think he was gay _ . 

“Didn’t Emily kick you, this morning?” Jen had turned her attention back to him. 

“Emily…. Emily? Ah, yes, that  _ may _ have been me.”

“What on earth did you say to her to make her kick you!?”

“Ah… bad joke. ‘Bout a boy she hangs around with, Cameron.” Jen rolled her eyes. 

“Right…”

_ She might hate him, though _ . 

***

“So, er, what you three do, exactly?”

“Mostly? Sit here doing homework or playing video games. Sometimes we set things up for assemblies, sound systems and all that. Mr Reynholm has us work on the school plays, too.” Moss supplied. 

“So I can just do my homework?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, good, I was worried I’d have to learn how to code or something.” 

“No danger of that here,” Richmond looked up at her, “Although watch out for bullies. They don’t like us so much.”

“There are bullies here?” Jen sat herself down on the desk next to Moss. 

“Doesn’t every school have bullies?” Roy raised an eyebrow at her.

“Well, I guess so. I’ve never had to worry about them before.” Roy looked her up and down and sighed. 

“You’re pretty enough, Douglas won’t bother.”

“Douglas?”

“Principal 's son. Year below us, a real-” Moss lowered his voice, “Menace.”

“I… I see.”

“He broke my glasses.”

“Right, right. Okay. So how does this ‘club’ work, exactly? Do I have to be here every day?” Jen opened her laptop. 

“Just once a week, usually. You’d best come every day until the new teacher arrives though. If she doesn’t come today, that is. You know, teachers can be unpredictable here. But you need your name marked off, once a week, every week, unless you’re sick, or you can’t put it on a resume. I’m not sure  _ why _ you’d want to put it on a resume, but that’s what Mr Reynholm always says so I guess it must be a thing that people do. What would I know, I’ve never even wri-” 

“Thanks… Moss, was it?” Jen cut him off.  _ God, he rambles _ . She thought to herself. 

But still. Once a week. She could do once a week. 

***

“No new teacher today.” Moss remarked as the bell rang. 

“Thanks for stating the obvious, Moss.” Roy hid a smile, “See you tomorrow then, Jen?”

She had already left. 

“What is with people walking off on me today!?” He exclaimed, before realising the room was empty. “Seriously!?”

***

“So, how was it?” Taylor asked. 

“They  _ are _ nerds. Just sat there on their laptops in silence. But it’s okay, I think they’re bearable.”

“Always good,” Emily grinned, “You gotta go back tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I suppose I do.” Jen shut her locker with a sigh, “Every day until the teacher turns up, apparently. Once a week after that.”

“Of course, Reynholm is so flaky sometimes. I bet you don’t get a teacher for months.” Phoebe rolled her eyes, “You’re going to end up real close with those boys.”

“Nah, not happening.”

“We’ll see about that, Jen. You’ve got a whole year ahead of you. A whole year of those nerdy dorks. I bet they turn you into one of them! You’ll be a nerd, Jen! A nerd!”

“Oh, stop it!” Jen giggled, hitting Phoebe gently with her folder. “One of them is that boy you kicked this morning, Em.”

“Roy? I thought he was one of the sport idiots. Hangs out with them, anyway. Doesn’t even know I exist. One benefit of being unpopular is that you can kick the jerks with not negative effects.”

“How come you know his name, then?”

“He was in my history class last year, I think.” Emily shrugged. 

“Ah, of course. There’s no way I’m going to become one of them, Phoebe, stop smiling like that!” Jen held her folder up threateningly, and Phoebe stuck out her tongue. 

“I give you a month.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weird way to end it? Yeah, I thought so too, but I couldn't make it any better so I gave up. Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did! (Well done if you remembered that Roy's 'friends' are the robbers from 'Are We Not Men')


	2. A Cheerful Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Douglas! That's really it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is rather short, but it's all I have for now! Excited for next week's chapter though, so that'll definitely be a lot longer!!! (Update - it's a bit longer now!)

As she and Moss lay on the IT room floor, pens and pencils scattered across a sketchbook, Jen could practically hear Phoebe gloating. In front of her, Roy sat, drumming on his crossed legs with two of Moss’ pens. 

“Are you going to choose a colour or not?” He broke the silence finally. Moss shook his head, not even looking up. 

“You should just do it black.” Richmond supplied from the desk they were seated under. 

“Richmond, it’s an icecream truck. We are choosing colours for  _ an icecream truck _ .” Jen replied. 

“Icecream trucks can be black!” They retorted. 

“Sure, sure… bright and cheerful icecream trucks can be black.”

“Blue, pink and yellow, then. Those are bright and cheerful. Not that black  _ isn’t _ bright and cheerful…”

“What if I did it all of the colours? Roy, can I have those pens back?” Roy handed them over with a sigh. 

“All of the colours? You mean a rainbow?” Moss nodded. 

“Black, but with a rainbow?” Richmond asked, hopefully. 

“No, white with a rainbow. It’s an icecream truck, and black absorbs light, which means it would get too warm.” 

“Nerd.” Roy grinned, laughing as Moss pushed him over, “Sto-o-op, that tickles!” Jen rolled her eyes at them. 

“When is Mr Reynholm going to be here, anyway? I have a life outside of this club.” She sighed, sitting up and leaning back against the leg of the desk behind her. Moss shrugged, sticking his tongue out as he sketched out a thick arc on the side of the icecream truck he’d already outlined. 

“He’ll turn up. Always does, eventually.”

“I don’t see why we’re meeting with him today, Athletics day is next week. Surely-”

“There’s a ‘friendly’ local footba... footy match the afternoon before. Douglas and his friends.” Roy cut her off, “And Reynholm is the only one brave enough to umpire.” At the mention of Douglas, Richmond retreated further under the desk until their back was pressed against the wall. 

“And Roy’s playing.” Moss quipped. Roy buried his face in his hands. 

“No... really?”

“My friends were down a player.” He mumbled, “I don’t usually play.”

“They’re real jerks, Jen, but Roy  _ insists _ that they’re his friends.”

“They’re-”

“Please don’t start this again.” Richmond crawled out from under the desk, “Please.” A sharp knock made the group jump. 

“Oi, fags! Dad’s not coming, you lot can go home. Oh, hi, Roy, didn’t know you were in the second rate queer club. Ready for the game next week?” Douglas smirked, leaning against the doorframe.

“U-uh y-yeah! Pumped.” Roy stammered, but Douglas had turned his attention elsewhere. 

“And who might you be?” He asked, looking Jen up and down. 

“Jen Barber. And you are…?”

“Douglas. Douglas  _ Reynholm _ .”

“Ah, I.. I see. Nice to meet you.”

***

Richmond was squished under a desk with Moss, watching Douglas flirt with Jen.  _ At least he’s not shouting,  _ they thought. They felt bad for Jen, of course they did, but it was nice to be invisible again.

Nice to just talk about the trivial things, like their stupid blonde hair, which was decidedly not the right colour - but it was a nice length now.

“Black?” Moss raised an eyebrow, looking at them skeptically. 

“Yes. It’s more…” They trailed off, gesturing vaguely with their hands, “Goth.”

“Ah, right. Of course.” Moss nodded. They liked Moss and his no-nonsense approach to life. He wasn’t half as scary as Roy. And he’d been totally and absolutely fine with the whole nonbinary thing when they’d told him. 

“Richmond?” Moss was waving a hand in front of their face. “You zoned out,” He added, in way of explanation. 

“Sorry. What were we talking about?”

***

“I still can’t believe you agreed to play, Roy!” A week later, Moss was still expressing his concern about the football match. 

“Moss it’s nine am, give it a rest.” Roy sighed, “Please.” He shoved his bag to the back of his locker, dragging his laptop out. 

“I’m allowed to be concerned for you!” Moss cried indignantly. Roy bit back a smile. Of  _ course _ this was the angle Moss was going for. 

“And I’m allowed to play football.” Moss spluttered, his face red. 

“I know  _ that. _ ” Roy rolled his eyes, although Moss didn’t notice. He worried enough about Moss, Moss didn’t need to worry about him. Moss was, well, a target. Roy was not. It made sense for him to worry about Moss. Didn’t he worry about his younger sister? It was the same thing.

But Moss didn’t  _ need _ to worry about him. 

And yet he did. 

This, for some reason, made him feel strange. All buzzy and silly. 

“I’m going to be fine, Moss, I’ve done this before.”

***

Jen was sick of hearing about football and Douglas and the  _ stupid _ match. 

Roy seemed to be too, so she pulled up a seat next to him in maths. He looked up from a book, confused to see her. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked, shutting it. 

“Sitting next to you.” She shrugged, pulling out her exercise book and a pencil. “Aren’t I allowed to do that?”

“Well you’ve never done it before! Don’t you have some girl friends in this class?” 

“Emily’s got clarinet. What’s that?” She pointed to his book. 

“Just something for politics. Seriously, Jen, what’re you doing here?” He gave her a skeptical look.

“I don’t understand what’s on the board.” She admitted, “I don’t know anyone else,” Roy rolled his eyes. 

“Shoulda known…”

“You did know!” He laughed at that. 

“Yeah, yeah… so, parabolas?”

***

Walking back from maths, Roy heard Douglas.

Too late. As always. 

He could always tell when it was Richmond or Moss that Douglas was harassing. Richmond for the tone of voice Douglas had - almost regretful, softer, even - and Moss for the comments on his glasses and hair. 

And so, as he heard Douglas’ final cry of “freak”, in the way he knew meant he was talking to Richmond, he had run,  _ sprinted,  _ to where it had come from. 

But Douglas was gone. Richmond, of course, was not, slumped on the floor, back against their locker, head in their hands. 

“Richmond?” Roy crouched down beside them. He  _ hated _ this, hated that he was  _ never _ around when they needed him. When he should have been there to stop Douglas. Not that he had to, of course, but...  _ At least it’s just Richmond and not both of them, _ he thought.

“Roy?” Richmond looked up at him, tears in their eyes, which they hurriedly brushed away. 

“I heard Douglas.” Roy looked away, almost as if he was embarrassed to be caught caring. “Are you okay?” Richmond nodded, standing up. 

“We’re going to be late.” He stated, which Roy took as a signal that they didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Oh, yeah, right… listen, I’ve just got to go grab something from my locker, I’ll meet you there.”

***

“He’s awful, Moss! This isn’t  _ fair,  _ that he just gets-”

“I know, Roy, please calm down. This is a regular happening.” Moss shut his locker door with a sigh. He didn’t understand Roy, not one bit. He was  _ friends _ with their year level’s ‘Douglas’. He was about to play flipping  _ football _ with them, for crying out loud. 

Roy opened his mouth to protest but shut it again, tapping his hand against his hip. Moss held back a giggle. Roy wasn’t often particularly passionate about anything, and Moss had come to appreciate that, as a result of that, he was usually  _ overly _ passionate. And watching him attempting to restrain that passion was, well, rather amusing. (And rather cute, as well, but Roy would never speak to him again if he knew that.)

***

Jen felt like she was going crazy. She’d seen Douglas in the corridor more times than could possibly be normal for a few days. Where had he even come from? Before the interaction in the IT room, she’d never noticed him. She’d been on the lookout after the boys had warned her, but she’d never actually  _ seen _ him. 

Now, though, he was  _ everywhere _ . 

It was horrible. 

At least, mostly, he couldn’t talk to her. 

“Hey! Hey, Jen!” It seemed that now was not one of those times. She couldn’t ignore him here, it was lunch.

“Hi, Douglas.”

“Are you coming to the game, tonight?”

“Football…?”

“Yeah, footy. So, are you?” 

“No, sorry. Not my thing.” She continued walking, “Sorry, I have to get to the IT room. Club commitments.” 

“I can talk to dad. Get you out of the stupid club. No use hanging out with the fairies. Roy’s okay, I suppose. Never took him for a poofter.” 

“Don’t call them that.”

“Come on,” He grabbed her wrist, “Hang out with me and my mates.” She pulled away from him, rolling her eyes. 

“Douglas, I’m flattered. But you’re just a kid.” With that, she set off running to the IT room. 

***

“My mum says arnica helps with bruises.” Moss informed Richmond as they sat across from each other, examining Richmond’s arms. 

“They’re not that bad, really. I just bruise easily.”

“Still, Richmond.” Roy piped up from the other side of the room, where he was hunched over his english book. Richmond shrugged, dragging their jumper back over their head. 

“It’s a weekly occurrence,” Moss added, pulling himself up to sit on a desk. 

“Hey boys!” Jen walked into the room, somewhat breathless from her brief run. “What’s going on, you guys look like someone died. Wait, did anyone…”

“Just Douglas.” Roy looked up from his book. 

“Oh, god, again? He was just harassing me about the football match. Excited, Roy?”

“Nope. But it’s not like I have a choice. Play, or get called gay.” He sighed. She didn’t miss his quick sideways glance at Moss, although Moss seemed to. 

“That’s a big thing with Douglas, isn’t it?” They all nodded at her. 

“Big thing with anyone remotely popular here.”

“It sucks.”

“I’m sorry.” Jen looked around for a way to change the subject. “How did Miss Fletcher like the truck, Moss?”

“Loved it.” He grinned. 

“That’s great!” She smiled back, “What are you working on there, Roy?”

“Nothin’, just some grammar work. Meant to be homework, but football…”

“I see.”

“Yeah…”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks, I’m going to need it.”

***

“You alright, Jen?” Renee asked as Jen absentmindedly tapped her pencil against the textbook page open in front of her. 

“Hmm? Oh, yes, I’m fine. Just… thinking.” She shrugged, “How much do you know about Douglas Reynholm?” Renee sighed, putting a hand to her forehead. 

“Enough. Why?”

“He’s got a crush on me or something. I want him to leave me alone.”

“Get someone else to ‘claim’ you. Someone older than him. That’ll do it.” Phoebe swivelled in her chair to face them, “He gets away with a lot but there are definitely people he’s too scared to cross.”

“What do you mean?” Jen gave her a confused look, shutting her textbook. 

“If someone Reynholm doesn’t want to upset likes you, you’re off limits.” Emily rolled her eyes, “Or, if you don’t mind getting harassed by Daniel, he’s terrified of lesbians.”

“Em!” Phoebe giggled, hitting her lightly. 

“She’s not wrong.” Taylor rolled her eyes, “He won’t even come near you two.” Emily grinned. 

“Probably not the best route, though. Roy or Moss, though…” Jen hit her gently with the textbook. 

“Gross!” 

“Aw, come on, Jen, you’re like… besties, surely. Like, you’ve spent every lunch time with them for how long? A month?” Phoebe took her own textbook and held it up as a mock-shield, peering over the top. 

“And Roy’s in our maths class, and Textiles, and Maurice is in vis comm-” Emily had copied Phoebe, but was laughing too hard to hold her textbook steady. 

“Moss.” Jen corrected before she realised what she was saying. 

“See!”

***

“Don’t let them hurt you.” Moss grabbed Roy’s shoulders, forcing him to make eye contact.  _ God, was he still on about this? _

“I won’t, Moss, you  _ know that, _ ” Roy tried to pull away, “Come on, I’m going to miss my stop-”

“You were complaining about the unfairness of Douglas’ at lunch! You’re about to play him! In a sport you-”

“Thanks, Moss, but I don’t really need you to tell me how bad I am at a sport I’m being forced to play,” He pushed past him, regretting his forcefulness as he stepped towards the bus door and felt Moss falter behind him. “Sorry. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a rather dialogue heavy chapter. Hope you liked it anyway, kudos and comment if you did!


	3. House Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The club show some school house pride. Among other things, of course. Athletics days don't exactly run smoothly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is actually based on a weird day I had when one of my friends... well, actually, I'll let you find out what happened for yourself. I just sorta stuck that experience on top of several Athletics Day experiences, so it's a bit of a mess. I love it though.

Moss did not enjoy sports. He’d told many people over the years, from teachers to his mum and dad. He’d even followed his numerous English teachers’ advice of “show, not tell,” (he was well aware of the fact that this was meant to be applied to writing, rather than life, but he had found that often anything he had to say was taken more seriously if it was accompanied by a ‘showing’.)

However. 

He was required to attend the school’s annual Athletics Day. Not to participate, but to attend, and assist the teachers with the record keeping and the PA system. 

And as much as he had complained the first year, he had to admit it wasn’t too bad. Roy was there, after all. 

So it was with a smile that he hopped out of bed and rummaged through his cupboard for his green shirt, ready to show his ‘house pride’, whatever that was. 

Because today… Well, today he got Roy all to himself. No Daniel or Luke or Derrick or Barry. He giggled to himself, covering his mouth before he could let out an excited squeal. 

“What are you so happy about?” His mum asked as he practically skipped downstairs to the kitchen. 

“Nothing.” He took a bowl from the cupboard and set about pouring cereal and milk into it, before stuffing a spoonful into his mouth to suppress another excited giggle. 

“Sure,” She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Take that hoodie your aunt gave you, that other jumper of yours is too small. Gosh, you’re growing like a weed. My gorgeous boy.” She pulled him into a hug as he went to rush back upstairs for the jumper. “Have a good day.”

“Thanks, mum.” He pulled away from her, dashing towards the stairs before turning on his heels, “You too.”

***

It had taken everything Roy had to drag himself out of bed. 

He’d barely even remembered not to wear his school uniform. He’d forgotten a jumper, but at least his t-shirt was red. Which he was hoping was his house colour. Honestly, he wasn’t quite sure if it was. He hadn’t known in year 7, so his mum had just bought him four oversized t-shirts, one in each house colour, that she claimed would fit him the whole way through. So far, she wasn’t wrong, but having all of the house colours made it rather difficult for him to remember which house he was actually  _ in _ . 

And the dull ache that had settled into his head wasn’t helping much either. Maybe staying up late to finish the politics assignment hadn’t been the best idea, he thought, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he slumped down next to Moss on the bus. 

“Good morning!” Moss chirped, “Red this year?” All Roy could bring himself to do was nod. Moss seemed content with that response, at least, and Roy tuned out as he began to make vague observations about the weather. He didn’t mind listening to Moss ramble, really he didn’t, but it was too much for him that day. 

***

“And you’re sure that you’re not meant to be in school uniform?” Jen’s mum handed her her bag, watching her anxiously as she slid out of the car and onto the footpath. 

“Yes, mum! I’m wearing green, because I’m in the green house.” She rolled her eyes, pulling her school bag over her shoulder. "And you're wearing a jumper?"

"Of course, mum. I'm going now, okay? I'll see you later. Please stop worrying, I'm fine, really." 

"I know, honey... have a good day."

***

"Hey, Jen!" Moss bounded over to her as soon as she reached the gate at the front of the school. Roy was trailing behind him reluctantly. "Have you seen Richmond?"

"No, I only just got here." 

"We need to find him, Mr Reynholm wants us on the first bus to help the teachers." Moss bounced up and down, rocking on his heels. Jen couldn’t tell if he was anxious or excited. 

“Alright then… How was the game, Roy?” The boy had finally caught up to his friend. 

“Oh! I completely forgot about that. How was it?” Moss swivelled around to face him.

“Ah… well it rained, and I got drenched and muddy, and then Douglas decided I wasn’t good enough so he made me sit on the bench for most of the game, in the cold rain and in my muddy clothes. So fantastic, really.” Roy shrugged, “Typical football match.”

“Thought you had to call it footy-” Jen started to tease, before catching the look on his face, “Sorry. Are you okay? You look exhausted.”

***

“Had an assignment due last night.” Roy mumbled, “Stayed up later than I should’ve. I’ll live.” He opted to not mention how his throat felt like it was being stabbed whenever he swallowed, or the headache that had only gotten worse sitting in the jolting bus with Moss’ incessant chatter. 

Luckily, Richmond chose that moment to find the group and he didn’t have to worry about talking anymore. He was fine, anyway, he decided, shivering, he was just tired. There was no need to worry anyone. 

***

Richmond hated free dress days. They didn’t like the school uniform much either, but at least Douglas couldn’t be a jerk about that, as he wore the same thing. But free dress days were another story. 

“I love your nail polish!” Jen exclaimed.  _ Well, maybe they weren’t so bad _ . 

“Thanks.” They grinned, looking down at their hands shyly. They loved it too, sparkly and blue… not at all their usual style, but nice all the same. “Douglas won’t.”

“Douglas is an asshole.”

“Jen!” Moss looked at her, seemingly shocked. 

“What? He is.” She shrugged, “Didn’t he break your glasses?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“I don’t think there are any ‘buts’, Moss. He’s just an asshole.” Richmond smiled. They liked Jen. She wasn’t afraid to say what she thought, even if she was often somewhat misinformed. 

“IT PEOPLE!” Douglas and his ‘crew’ approached them. Richmond flinched, stepping behind Moss. “Dad wants you over there.” He pointed, “Good game last night, hey, Roy?”

“What? Oh, yes. Great.” Roy nodded. Richmond didn’t miss the slight twitch in his hands. Had they been closer with Roy, they might have said something, but they weren’t, so they didn’t. 

***

As the bus ride to the athletics track came to an end, Jen had come to the conclusion that Roy was a little bit beyond exhausted. No, if anything, he was unwell. And not very happy with her, either. 

“Are you-”

“Yes, Jen, I am sure that I’m okay. Stop asking!” But perhaps that was partially her fault. 

As they walked towards the centre of the athletics course, where a group of teachers were struggling with a microphone, Jen pulled Moss aside. 

“Does Roy seem… off to you?” She asked him in a low whisper. 

“Why are you whispering?”

“Because I don’t want him hearing.” She rolled her eyes. “Just answer the question.”

“Well, I suppose so. He might just be cold, he was shivering earlier.”

***

Now that Moss was thinking about it, Roy  _ did _ seem  _ quite _ ‘off’, as Jen had put it. For one, he clearly hadn’t been listening to Moss on the way to school. And he didn’t have a jumper with him. Roy  _ hated _ the cold. 

He felt his breathing hitch mid-way through running through his mental checklist of indicators that Roy was unwell. 

“Calm down, Moss, he’s fine. He’s come to school with a high fever for a maths test before. That was bad, this is fine, get a grip!” He scolded himself under his breath. Pulling his asthma pump from his pocket, he rushed to catch up to Jen. 

“Yes, he seems very ‘off’ to me.” He informed her. She sighed. 

“Thanks, Moss.”

***

The four IT Club members crowded around the small folding table that the teachers had set up. Jen and Richmond were understandably lost, Jen having no experience and Richmond not caring, but Moss had sorted the sound system out in minutes, with minimal input from Roy. 

“Thanks, Maurice.” the teacher in charge smiled at him, “You four are free to head over to the benches now, we’ll call one of you over if we need anymore help.” Moss smiled, nodding. 

“Come on, there won’t be any room if we don’t go now!” He grabbed Roy’s hand and gently dragged him towards the rows of wooden benches where students were gathering in groups, sitting down with their bags in piles beside them. 

***

Roy was beginning to regret not staying home. His nose had started running, and the teachers really hadn’t needed all of them, only Moss, really, and god he was  _ freezing. _

“Are you cold?” Moss moved from his spot in between Jen and Richmond to sit beside him. Before Roy could even answer, or perhaps after he answered, he really couldn’t remember- he found Moss’ hoodie being placed around his shoulders, and he slipped his arms into it gratefully. He didn’t even react when Moss asked if he was okay, instead slumping against him. Moss was so  _ warm.  _ And no one was here to see this, anyway, it didn’t matter, no one would care - even if Daniel and the others did bother with Athletics Day, he wouldn’t have cared. 

He just wanted Moss to hug him and hold him and make everything stop hurting. 

***

Moss sighed, running his hands through Roy’s hair gently. 

“That went from zero to ten very quickly.” Richmond remarked. Moss tilted his head slightly, giving them a confused look. 

“He was mostly alright before we got on the bus.” They explained. Moss nodded. 

“Roy’s like that, it’s cute.” He felt his cheeks burning. Thankfully, Jen didn’t seem to hear, as she was chatting away to a blonde girl Moss didn’t recognise. 

“I’m going with Emily to play Uno- oh, is he okay?” She caught sight of Roy. 

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Richmond replied before Moss could.

“Shouldn’t we be asking a teacher to call his parents?” 

“No, they’re both at work.” Moss shook his head, “His older sister is at university, and his little one…” he glanced around quickly, “She’s over there.” 

“Okay, if you say so.” Jen shrugged, turning back to Emily, who now seemed interested in what was going on.

“You should probably make him drink water, if he’s sick.” She supplied, not really knowing what else to say, “My group’s just over there if you need Jen.” she pointed, and she and Jen walked off. 

“‘m not sick, Moss…” Roy opened his eyes and looked up at him. Moss didn’t really know how to reply to that, instead blushing and turning away. 

Because Roy was wrong, he knew that, but fighting about it wouldn’t help, and he was rubbish at arguing anyway, and besides, how dare Roy be cute even as a snotty half asleep mess. Not that Roy was a mess, of course not, just…

Richmond tapped him on the shoulder, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

“Don’t think so much, hey? You’ll just make yourself feel bad.” And Moss had to admit, sometimes the goth was very much right. 

***

“Moss, just tell me what to do, and then we don’t have to wake Roy up.” Jen sighed. 

“No, you’ll break something, and we don’t actually even know what’s wrong, just that it’s not working. And why did she go to you, anyway? You didn-”

“Because Emily’s group is closer to the teachers than where we are. They saw me first.” Jen rolled her eyes, “Wake him up then.” Moss bit his lip. He  _ really _ didn’t want to do that. But Jen  _ would _ break something, and Richmond was nowhere to be seen. 

“Roy…” He spoke softly, nudging him slightly with the shoulder he was leaning against. He blinked sleepily. 

“Yeah..?”

“I have to go help the teachers, I need you to move.” Hearing that, Roy struggled to his feet. 

“I’ll help you.” He held out a hand to Moss before he could think it through properly. To his relief and slight disappointment, Moss didn’t take it, standing up himself and beginning to walk through the benches, towards the teachers. 

“Are you coming, then?” He turned back to face Roy, who hurriedly made his way to Moss. 

***

“And that should be all fixed, now, Ms Fletcher.” Moss stepped away from the speaker. 

“Thank you, boys.” she smiled at them, “I'm so sorry, I think I must have knocked it over…” Moss shrugged. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Walking away from her he turned to Roy, “Do you have a drink bottle?”

“‘S in my bag.” Roy looked rather dazed by the bright sunlight they were standing in. “Why?”

“Jen’s friend said that you should drink water.”  _ Because you’re ill,  _ he added silently. Roy nodded, but Moss suspected he hadn’t really taken much in. Against his better judgement, he grabbed Roy’s hand again, guiding him back to their seats. Moss grabbed Roy’s bag and rummaged through it, handing him his drink bottle. Roy took it, but didn’t make any effort to drink from it. 

“Thanks.” Moss sat down next to him. 

“You need to actually drink the water.” Roy stared at him. 

“Oh.  _ Oh. _ Of course.” He proceeded to do so, face bright red. 

“Are you feeling alright?”  _ Stupid question, he fell asleep on you before.  _

“Tired. Cold. My head hurts.” He shuffled closer to Moss. 

***

Moss was so warm. So, so, so warm. And he was so tired. 

But… 

Going back to sleep on Moss would be… well, weird, he supposed. Even if Moss was his best friend, and even if no one was around to see, and… 

“Go back to sleep, Roy.” Moss’ voice was soft and sweet and  _ beautiful _ and he was too tired to care about that thought. 

***

Moss smiled as Roy sunk back against him. Maybe this wasn’t  _ quite _ what he’d thought the day would be like, but he wasn’t complaining. (He perhaps would be, a few days later, but that could wait until then.)

Richmond reappeared about an hour later, to see Moss reading a book, Roy fast asleep with his head in Moss’ lap. 

“Does he have a fever or is he just really tired?” They asked, sitting down next to the pair. 

“A slight temperature?” Moss shrugged, “I don’t really know. I made him drink water.”

“That’s good.” They lapsed into silence. “Where’s Jen?”

“Still playing Uno.” Moss shut his book and put it back in his bag. “We’ll be leaving soon, she’ll have to come and get her stuff.” No sooner had he said that then a teacher with a megaphone began to call for students to gather in their form groups to get their names marked off before boarding the buses. 

“What’s happening..?” Roy asked Moss, sitting up. 

“Roll call.” He answered, “I’ll meet you back here, okay?”

***

“Hey! Moss!” Roy’s younger sister ran up to him, “I can’t find Roy, but can you tell him I’m going home with Kate?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” He nodded, “Don’t forget to text your mum.” He added, knowing that that’s what Roy would say. As she ran off, he realised that he’d probably have to walk Roy home. Well, not  _ have to _ , but he would. 

“Moss, over here!” He heard Jen calling through the crowd, and turned to see that she had Roy and Richmond in tow. “Let’s get on the bus!”

***

“You don’t have to walk me home, Moss, ‘m fine, really-”

“I’m already off the bus, Roy, there’s no point protesting now.” Moss rolled his eyes.  _ Plus, I’m carrying your bag _ . Roy opened his mouth to continue, but was stopped by a coughing fit.  _ Yeah, you’re absolutely fine, Roy _ . Moss resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Wait, where’s-” Roy looked around panickedly. 

“Gone home with some girl named Kate. I told you that already.” Moss sighed. 

“Oh, right, yeah. Sorry.” Roy mumbled, blushing. 

***

“I’m so sorry.” Roy told Moss as they reached his front door. “You’ve had to put up with me all day, I shouldn’t have come, I’m so sorry, I-” Moss pulled him into a hug, shutting him up. 

“Just get better, okay?” Roy melted. Who let Moss be so lovely and kind and  _ perfect _ , it wasn’t  _ fair _ , one person wasn’t allowed to be so  _ good. _

“Okay.”

“I don’t want to see you at school tomorrow.” Roy found both of his hands pressed together between Moss’. “Promise me that if you’re still sick, you won’t come?”

“‘m no- yes. I promise.” Moss smiled. 

“Go sleep.” Roy nodded, hugging Moss quickly again (a thank you, he reasoned. It was only fair, after all…), before pulling out his key and slipping into the house. 

***

Moss watched the closed front door for a moment before setting off walking again. He’d only gone a few metres before realising that Roy still had his jumper. 

_ Oh well,  _ he thought,  _ I’ll get it back eventually.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that pining came out of nowhere. Oh well, I thought it was cute, maybe you did too! Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did!


	4. Friends, Fear and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends, fear and feelings. Exactly what the title says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this one is kinda odd, and kinda short, but it's important and I like it! I hope you do too.

"We're friends, right, Jen?" Jen looked up from her phone to see Moss watching her earnestly from the other side of the room. 

“Of course.” She put her phone down, glancing under the desks in front of her, expecting to see Richmond’s haunting presence. “Where’s Richmond?” Moss shrugged. He opened his mouth to say something but appeared to reconsider and shut it again. 

“Can I tell you something?” He said finally. Jen sat up a bit straighter, a light blush coming to her cheeks.

“If it’s that you like me, I’m flattered, really, but-” 

“I’m gay.” He blurted. 

“ _ Oh. _ Oh! Of course. Yes. That makes  _ so _ much more sense.” Jen slid off the table and moved to sit next to him. “Sorry, I don’t know what to say now.”

“It’s okay.” He shuffled away slightly, “I didn’t expect you to.”

“Why are you telling me now? Oh. Roy.” She answered herself. 

“Yes.” Moss blushed, “Roy.” 

“Does Richmond know?” 

“They were the first person I told. Well, other than my parents. Sat them down in year seven after reading about teens being thrown out of the house for it… I don’t really know what I was thinking but they were fine with it and I told Richmond about a month ago and now I’m telling you because you’re my friend and you would work it out anyway and-”

“Hold up. ‘They’?” 

“Richmond is nonbinary. That’s another thing that Roy doesn’t know. Don’t worry, Richmond said I could tell you - but we can’t tell Roy.”

“Why not?”

***

“Why not!? Have you met Roy’s ‘other’ friends!?” He took a deep breath, “Yesterday…”

_ “I don’t want to see you at school tomorrow. Promise me that if you’re still sick, you won’t come?” _

_ “‘m no- yes. I promise.” _

_ “Go sleep.”  _

_ Roy had hugged him then, and he barely managed to not stumble backwards. But he hadn’t, and he’d caught him, and then Roy had stumbled off inside, with his jumper. Of course.  _

_ Oh well, he’d thought, I’ll get it back eventually.  _

_ So he’d set off home, hands in his pockets, smile on his face.  _

_ “Fag!” His smile dropped, and he spun around, trying to locate the source of the cry. “Over here, faggot!”  _

_ And suddenly, he was surrounded. His breathing quickened, his heart racing.  _

_ “What do you want, Daniel? If you’re here to see Roy, he’s-” _

_ “Not available.” Daniel waved his phone in Moss’ face. “He texted me.” _

_ “But not before-” Daniel shot the boy speaking a look.  _

_ “We saw you, taking him home, hugging him, you disgusting fag. You leave Roy alone, you hear me?” He pushed Moss.  _

_ “But…” _

_ “You hear me!?”  _

“They did that?” Jen hugged him then, “That’s horrible.”

“It’s how it works around here.” Moss shrugged, “So you can’t tell Roy.” He sighed. 

“But he’s… he’s not like that, is he?”

“No. Well, yes. Sometimes. He doesn’t call me a fag. He wouldn’t call those girls you hang out with dykes. But he’s not exactly for it.” Moss sighed again.

“Ah, right…” Jen looked at her shoes. “So… you like Roy?” Moss blushed, adjusting his glasses. 

“Yes.” 

***

“Moss is telling Jen today.” Richmond informed Emily, “About me, too.” 

“Are you nervous? After.. Douglas?”

“Jen… she’s a good person.” Emily nodded. 

“Yep. But that doesn’t answer my question.” Richmond rolled their eyes. They loved the Stand Out club, but the full honesty approach that most of the members took drove them a bit insane sometimes.  _ Was it not enough to just be vague and answer questions with long-winded avoidances?  _

“Well?”

“A little bit.” They admitted. And it wasn’t a lie, either. Sure, Jen was lovely and supportive and great, but… well, they hadn’t exactly had the best experiences with coming out. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Speaking of which, when is Moss coming back? Tell him that we’ve been missing him this year?” They nodded.

“Sure.”

***

Being at home was boring, Roy decided. Boring and cold. He’d slept through the morning, but he was awake now, and cold. 

Stepping out of bed, he spotted a discarded jumper on his desk chair and pulled it over his head.  _ God _ the floor was cold. He stumbled out of his bedroom to find the house empty, a note from his mum lying on the ground. 

He picked it up, giving it a quick scan for anything important before putting it back down. He was too cold to worry about food and painkillers, he reasoned, making his way to the heater in the lounge room, which his family had left off. Sadly. 

He hugged his knees to his chest as he waited for it to warm up, shivering slightly. 

The jumper wasn’t his, he concluded as he finally relaxed, the warmth from the heater radiating against his back. 

But it smelt awfully familiar and he didn’t mind it. It was nice. 

He couldn’t really tell how much time had passed before he heard keys in the front door, which jolted him out of his half-asleep state. 

“Roy? Are you awake? Mum said you were home sick.. Oh, there you are.” His older sister, Maeve. “What are you doing with the heater on? It’s not cold.”

“‘m freezing.” He curled into a ball again as she reached over him to turn it off. 

“Oh, Roy…” She sighed, “No wonder you’re at home, you’re a mess.” He coughed miserably. “Go back to bed, brat, I’ll find you some more blankets.” 

***

“You’re thinking again!” Renee poked Jen with a pencil. 

“Aren’t I allowed to think?” She laughed, prodding Renee with her own pencil. 

“Well, what are you thinking about? Douglas still?” She shook her head.

“How did you react when Emily and Phoebe came out as.. Well, whatever is is that they are?” 

“Ah, suspecting someone?” Renee gave her a knowing look, “Well, I guess it didn’t really come as too much of a shock to anyone. Phoebe never really came out, just sort of made it clear that she liked girls, and Emily didn’t really either, from memory. Phoebe knew straight out but it took Em a while to work it all out. They dated in year eight, which I guess was kind of them coming out? Everyone was pretty chill about it, but they got some mean comments. It’s… probably best not to mention it to them, ‘specially Phoebe.”

“So none of your friends were… weird about it?” Renee pondered this for a moment. 

“I don’t  _ think _ so. Why? Is there something you want to tell me?” 

“Oh no, no, not me.”

“If you get a chance, Emily’s probably got better answers than me. She’s in the queer-straight alliance group, too, so you won’t have to worry about outing most people.” Renee shrugged. 

***

School without Roy was rather dull. Not that Roy was in all of his classes, only two of them, in fact, but… well, Moss was allowed to miss him, wasn’t he? Even one period together was better than none. 

He sighed, looking back down at the comprehension work in front of him. It didn’t help that he was 85% certain that he’d be at home sick by the time Roy was back at school. Even now he was finding it hard to focus with the beginnings of a headache gently probing his brain. 

He’d get through the another day, at least, but, based on the incomprehensible texts he’d received from Roy that morning, it was unlikely that he would be at school the next day.

And he wasn’t even allowed to think like that now, according to Daniel. Which, of course, was ridiculous, but… 

Well, he was scared. Even  _ Douglas _ was scared of Daniel. 

“I want this done by Friday!” The teacher announced, cutting through his thoughts. It was, at long last, home time. Or, rather, he could finally check his phone. Check on Roy. As the bell rung, he rushed out towards the lockers. 

**Roy:** im cold and my nose is gone

**Roy:** what

**Roy:** where is my nose

**Roy:** i cant breathe it must be gone

**Roy:** mae says i still have a nose

**Roy:** what’s the point of a nose if i can’t breathe

**Roy:** i saw you read that maurice come back and answer meeee

**Roy:** Maeve says i cant use the heaterrrr :(

**Roy:** but im colddd its coldddd 

**Roy:** when do you get out of class im bored and cold and being sick is awfullll

**Roy:** maeve thinks the jumper im wearing is yours

**Roy:** is it yours

**Roy:** you havent come over in agessss so it cant be

**Moss:** You were wearing my jumper yesterday, Roy

**Roy:** MOSS YOU EXIST

**Moss:** Of course I exist, you saw me yesterday 

Moss giggled to himself. He didn’t  _ want _ Roy to be sick, but he was ruddy well amusing when he was. 

**Roy:** yesterday was forever ago

**Roy:** Maeves being mean 

**Roy:** she thinks ill make my head disappear if i dont get of my phone

**Roy:** oh no she said headache worse

**Roy:** not head disappear

**Moss:** I think you should probably listen to her

**Roy:** but if my head disappears it wont hurt

**Roy:** she wants me to sleep she cant do that shes oonly four years older than me

**Roy:** Mosssss back me up hereeee

**Moss:** Listen to Maeve 

**Roy:** i will not

**Roy:** i will stay awake forever

It was a few minutes before Moss’ phone buzzed again. 

**Roy:** This is Maeve, Roy fell asleep

**Moss:** I thought you were at university

**Roy:** I don’t have any classes this afternoon, so I’m stuck looking after Roy

**Roy:** Guess someone’s got to do it

**Roy:** From what he’s been rambling, you did a pretty good job yesterday

**Roy:** Good luck getting your hoodie back, though

**Roy:** Sorry, I’ll let you go now, I think I’m meant to be making dinner

**Roy:** See you, Moss

**Moss:** Bye, Maeve

He shut off his phone with a sigh. No, there was no way he’d be seeing Roy the next day. 

Maybe that was a good thing, he thought. Easier to get rid of feelings without seeing him every day. 

And surely that was the only option, now. Forget. 

There would be other boys. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that cute? I think maybe. Who knows! And yes, I'm aware that I technically spelt Maeve wrong. It's fine. I'll fix it if you want, but it's fine for now. Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did!


	5. See You Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moss catches Roy's cold - oh dear!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last in-a-row sickfic chapter, next one will be nice and angsty, I promise! Enjoy :)

It was at about four am that Moss realised that there was no chance of him making it to school.

He was curled up, pressed against the corner where his bed met the wall, head in his hands. 

He was too warm, in too much pain, too tired to sleep. 

He rubbed his eyes, forcing air through his lungs, hoping that he wouldn't wake his parents with his sharp coughs. Scanning the room for his water bottle, his phone caught his eye.

For a brief moment, he considered texting Roy. Telling him he wouldn't see him in the morning. Asking him if he'd get his English homework. 

But he didn't. How could he, having spent the day before ignoring Roy's messages. 

"I'll see you tomorrow." Roy had said. 

Tears began to drip down Moss' face, and he wasn’t sure if they were from trying not to cough or trying to avoid Roy. Perhaps both. 

He felt a shiver run through his body as the heat he had felt before disappeared. He shuffled back down to slip under the covers, holding his knees close in a vague attempt to retain body heat. 

He knew full well that it was not body heat that he was lacking. 

***

“Ey!” Roy turned to see Daniel running towards him. He grinned. 

“Hey.” He raised his hand in greeting. Daniel took it as a high five. 

“Where’ve you been?” He asked. Roy shrugged. 

“Had a cold. Mum insisted I stay home.”

“Seen Maurice?”

“Moss. No, I think he’s ignoring my texts.” Daniel muttered something under his breath that Roy couldn’t quite make out but sounded suspiciously like ‘good’. 

“That’s a shame. Thought you two caught the bus together?”

“He wasn’t there.” 

***

Jen didn’t notice Roy until he pulled up a seat beside her. She turned from Emily hearing the chair squeak beside her and almost jumped to see it was Roy.

“You’re back.” She didn’t even attempt to mask her surprise. 

“It was only two days, I didn’t think I really ‘left’.” He rolled his eyes. 

“You’re only here because of the test.”

“Guilty.” He sighed, “I wanted to see Moss, too, though, he hasn’t been answering my texts.” “He’s not here today.” Jen stated bluntly, suddenly recalling Roy’s friendship with Daniel. 

“Oh…” She chose not to mention that he’d been texting her since four in the morning. Luckily, before Roy could ask how she knew that, the teacher asked them to set up for the test. 

***

Despite the slight issues of her clubmates, Jen had to say, she was really settling into Reynholm College. 

And Douglas, while ever present and ever annoying, wasn’t the only boy there. 

“Who’s that?” She asked Taylor as they walked back from Science, pointing at a boy standing outside of their locker room. 

“Him? That’s Peter. Why?”

“He’s in my accounting class.” Jen blushed, “We sit next to each other and he told me his name and I forgot and I didn’t want to ask again.” 

“Oh, I see.” Taylor giggled, “You’ve got a crush!” 

“Maybe.” Jen smiled, “Hi, Peter.” She waved as they walked past him. 

“Hey, Jen, is it?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded, her face getting redder by the second before Taylor dragged her away. 

“Crush?” Her voice rose at the end of the question as she struggled to contain her excitement. 

“Crush.” Jen confirmed, before finding herself bundled up in a hug. 

***

Lunch time in the IT room without Moss was rather dull, Roy was finding. Richmond, of course, was under a table, and Jen seemed to be ignoring him, chewing on her sandwich as she scrolled through social media on her phone. After about ten minutes of sitting in silence, he decided enough was enough.

“Who’re you texting in the middle of lunch?” He asked, “We’re the only club that runs on Friday, and phones are banned outside of clubs.” She shrugged. 

“No one.” Rolling his eyes, he lent over to read the contact. 

“Moss? What’s he doing, texting you?”

“None of your business.” 

"Where is he, anyway?" 

"He's sick." Richmond spoke up before Jen could. "He didn't want you to feel bad about getting him sick."

"And he's horrible at lying." Roy finished for them. "Shit! I need my sketchbook." He leapt off the table and ran out the door.

*** 

"How are you so good at lying!?" Jen stuck her head over the edge of the table to make eye contact with Richmond. 

"Lying? I didn't lie. Every time Moss gets sick after Roy, Roy apologizes until everyone is sick of him."

"Does he…?" She sat back up. Her phone buzzed. 

**Maurice (Moss):** Did you tell Roy I was sick?

**Jen <3: ** richmond did, sorry

**Jen <3: ** wait how did you know that

**Maurice (Moss):** _ sent a photo  _

**Maurice (Moss):** He started apologizing 

***

Moss was so tired. So tired. 

He just wanted to  _ sleep. _ He shut his phone off with a sigh. Sure, it was sweet when Roy apologized for getting him sick. It was  _ adorable. _

But he wasn't allowed. Not allowed to think those thoughts or talk to Roy. 

He sneezed into his elbow, sighing again as his body untensed. 

He ruddy well hated this. Sick, and no Roy… He looked back down at his phone and attempted to read Jen's reply to his last message. The world spun. 

“Ouch…” he mumbled, head in his hands. Pulling his glasses off, he resisted the urge to throw them across the room. As much as he wanted to, Douglas had already broken one pair, and they were expensive.

Perhaps it was time to consider looking through the cupboards for painkillers. But that meant walking, and inevitably reading packets, and he didn’t think his head could take that.

No, better to just stay put until he fell asleep. He’d feel better then. 

***

Roy was about three seconds away from murdering his sister. Well, that and three kilometres. He’d fallen asleep on the bus, still recovering from the cold, and she hadn’t even bothered to stay with him. No, he’d woken now, two stops too late, and with a walk ahead of him. 

“Thanks, Clint.” He smiled at the bus driver, swiping his travel card. 

“Visiting Moss, are you?” Clint smiled back. Roy looked around quickly, putting two and two together.

“Yeah.” He nodded, “Have a good weekend!”

Clint’s ‘you too’ fell on deaf ears as Roy stepped off the bus and tried to remember the way to Moss’ house. 

***

Moss wasn’t sure how long he had slept for. Long enough, his phone had decided, at any rate. At least he could read without feeling like the world was about to destroy him. That had to be an improvement.

**Roy (IT Club):** come open the door nerd didn’t you hear the doorbell

**Roy (IT Club):** wait fuck you’re probably asleep

**Roy (IT Club):** isorry

**Roy (IT Club):** if you see this later don’t worry about it

Moss bit his lip, and against his better judgement, replied.

**Moss:** I’m coming, don’t leave

***

“Mum says not to open the door. A closed door, is a happy door.” They were sitting on the floor in Moss’ room now.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Oh, stop apologising!” Moss rolled his eyes, deciding that the resulting stab of pain was worth it. Without his glasses on, he really couldn’t read Roy’s facial expressions, but from the huff that came from the boy beside him, he decided that he must be defeated. No more ‘sorry’s. 

“I… I brought you something!” Roy burst out suddenly. “I meant to bring you your hoodie but mum washed it and it was still wet when I left this morning, so I grabbed one of mine.. in case, you know, you were.. cold...” He trailed off, handing the messily folded jumper to Moss. “It’s clean, I promise.” He added, quickly. 

“Thank you.” Moss smiled, hesitating for a moment before pulling it over his head, putting it on top of his pajamas.  _ What?  _ He dared his conscience to protest,  _ I am cold. _

And with that thought firmly in his mind, he put his head on Roy’s shoulder. 

He would regret this later, of course. But he was so  _ tired. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute? Maybe? Let me know! Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did!


	6. A Long Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long week and everyone's a bit over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but... you know, I like it.

As much as she had tried, Jen couldn’t really hold a grudge with Roy. Sure, he was an oblivious idiot, sure, his friends were  _ assholes, _ sure, he was (unintentionally) hurting Moss, but he was her friend. She was attached to him now, in a semi-permanent kind of way that made her a bit scared.  Connecting with people and knowing that the connection would be there for years to come was a little bit new to Jen.  She’d spent so long pushing people away, she couldn’t bring herself to do it this time. 

So here she was, designing pajamas, with the boy she’d been trying to hate for a week. 

“Why do I have to do this, anyway? I don’t even want to be in the class!” Honestly, she was beginning to regret becoming his friend. 

“Because your parents will murder you if you fail anything.” She rolled her eyes, “Remember?”

“I said that, didn’t I…?” He sighed, face planting into the sketchbook in front of him. 

“What gave it away, genius? The air quotes-” she waved her hands around for effect, “Or maybe the air quotes…? Or did you happen to remember something.” Okay, so maybe she was still holding a slight grudge. 

“Oh come off it, Jen, it’s been a long week.” He retorted, not even bothering to look up, slumping further onto the table.

“It’s only Wednesday! What could possibly be making this week so long?” 

“Moss’ avoiding me.” 

Well.  _ Well. _ She hadn’t been expecting that.

“I’m sure he’s not, you’re-” 

“He saw me in the corridor this morning and sprinted in the other direction.” Roy turned his head to look at her, his expression blank.

“He wasn’t avoiding you when you were here yesterday?” 

“I didn’t come to IT club yesterday.”

“Well what about the day before, then?”

“Moss wasn’t at school.” To be honest, Jen really didn’t know what to say then. Roy, for once, sensed that and began to speak again. 

“Where is he now, anyway?”

***

“I cannot BELIEVE that.. that.. jerk! I’ve known him since I was five, I can’t believe…”

“And we had to watch that stupid video! I know, right…”

“Ohhhh my god you two are  _ ADORABLE! _ ”

“It came out of nowhere, like, I’d never planned…”

“You have  _ got _ to read it, oh my gosh…”

Stand Out, Moss concluded, was a lot louder than the IT room. Not that that was a bad thing, of course, the sheer excitement he had just sitting among his fellow members of the LGBTQIAP+ community made it worth the occasional screeching. 

“Alright, Moss?” Richmond nudged him, concern etched into their sharp features. 

“Oh, yeah, fine. It’s just a bit loud.” Richmond nodded and turned back to the girl they were talking to. They were wearing eyeliner, Moss observed, smiling to himself. It was nice to see his friend being themself.

He just wished it didn’t make him feel so lonely.

***

“Maths study group.” Jen shrugged, “Big test coming up or something. I wasn’t really listening.” Jen, of course, was lying.

And there was nothing Roy could do about it. Because he knew. He knew that he’d made Moss uncomfortable with his stupid cuddliness and now he didn’t want to be around him. Roy didn’t blame him. Who would want to be around him?

“Knock knock, anyone home?” Ah. Daniel. He could count on him. Sure, they weren’t exactly close. But Daniel was a good person, and Roy didn’t hate him, which was really saying something. 

“Hey!” He sat up, shoving the open sketchbook not-so-subtly towards Jen. “Nice designs, I reckon the teacher will love them.” He added quickly in her direction. She raised an eyebrow.

“Come play footie, the teams are uneven.” Of course. Footy. As always.

“Maybe another time.” He tried to gesture to Jen without her seeing. Luckily she had enough common sense to keep her mouth shut, and looked away with a slight grimace on her face.

“Oh, yeah, sure. See you in class.” Daniel gave him a quick thumbs up before dashing off.

“What was that about!?” She whacked him over the head with his sketchbook as soon as Daniel was out of earshot.

“Had to explain myself somehow, didn’t I?” He rubbed his head, “That hurt!”

“Sorry.”

“I like that girlfriend of yours in our maths class anyway, no need to worry.” 

“Emily?”

“That’s the one.” He grinned, “We’ve got politics together.”

***

Jen imagined that this was probably the point at which she should tell Roy that Emily was gay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god these CHILDREN. I love them all dearly. Soon I'll be back at school and we might get some more exciting occurrences based on my school adventures. Hopefully, anyway. Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did!


	7. Good Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last day of term!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for gay slurs and general homophobia. Enjoy!

Roy wanted nothing more than to not be in Politics. He was bored, watching presentations was boring, and he was seated next to Emily. Emily, who was very pretty, and lovely, and just… well, usually he’d be blushing, watching her (a pretty, cute girl) with her smothered giggles (adorable behaviour) as she tried to keep a straight face through a presentation. He wasn’t, but he  _ had _ been trying to stop blushing at every pretty person he met. Every pretty girl he met. 

“We’re friends.” She mumbled, catching Roy watching her, “I’m not just laughing at him, I promise, god, you must think I’m such a weirdo…” He shrugged, willing himself to speak in a coherent manner. 

“I don’t.” She grinned. 

“That’s good. Your name is Roy, right? Oh, what am I saying, we’ve sat next to each other for the past term, I know exactly who you are.” Roy smiled. Cute girl, knew his name, everything was perfect. Nothing wrong at all! Now all he had to do was keep the conversation going. 

“Any plans for the holidays?” 

“Easter egg hunt with my little cousin, but I don’t really know what else. You?” She was twirling her hair! That was a sign from the wikiHow article he and Moss had read once! 

“Oh, um, nothing much. Visiting some relatives too, probably…” 

“Cool.” God, she had dimples. 

He should have been bright red. This was a girl! Interested! Talking! 

She turned back to the front, back to giggling at her friend. He berated himself. 

***

Roy groaned, flopping onto a chair. “I should have asked her another question!” When he got no response, he looked around at the IT room to find it empty. 

Empty. Of course. He’d given up asking where everyone had gone. Jen had her girlfriends, and the kid she was trying to impress, Richmond.. Well, he hadn’t seen Richmond in a while. Moss hadn’t spoken to him in a month. 

He sighed and began to eat his sandwich. He’d wait here for twenty minutes. That was the rule he’d set himself. Twenty minutes and then he would leave.

Twenty minutes later, there was a soft knock on the doorframe. He looked up from his laptop to see Moss stand there, fiddling nervously with his tie. 

His stupid tie, the one no one wore, but Moss did. Moss always did. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi…” Moss was staring at his shoes, and Roy wondered why he’d bothered to knock. 

“Are you coming in?” Moss didn’t answer, but came to sit next to him anyway. “Are you alright, Moss?”

“I’m fine.” Moss drew his knees up to his chest, “I came to apologise. For avoiding you. I…”

“No, no, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have been so, ah, clingy on athletics day, or come to your house that afternoon, and…”

“It’s fine, Roy.” Moss shuffled further away from him then, and Roy knew that it wasn’t fine. 

“You going to stop ignoring me now?” Moss nodded. 

“I don’t like catching the early bus, anyway.”

***

“You’re cheerful.” Jen didn’t even bother to look at Roy as he sat down. She knew he was there, she didn’t care. 

But he didn’t slump, he didn’t drop his bag on the floor beside the desk lazily, and whether she was looking at him or not, he was the happiest she’d seen him in weeks. 

Okay, so maybe she did care, a bit. But on her other side was where Peter had started to sit, and she cared about that a lot more.

“Had a good chat with Em, did you?” 

“I did, yeah. But Moss is speaking to me again!”

“He is!?” She turned to look him in the eye then. She hadn’t expected  _ that _ . 

“Yeah.” Roy nodded, unable to keep the smile off his face. She could see him struggling to keep his expression neutral, but he really was happy. 

Moss was his best friend, of course he was happy, what was she saying?

But he was...

“Ready for some algebra, study buddy?” Peter sat down next to her, and she quickly turned her attention to him. 

“Only if you’ll explain it to me!” She giggled. She could practically feel Roy rolling his eyes behind her. 

“Would you two please be quiet?” He spoke up after a few minutes of flirty banter, “I’m trying to concentrate.” 

“You won’t have to do that for much longer, mate, the assembly’s in a minute.” Peter smiled in his general direction, and Jen melted. He was so  _ cute _ when he smiled! Honestly, he had better hurry up and ask her out or…

Well, maybe she’d just have to do it herself. 

***

Moss had missed talking to Roy. They were sitting next to each other in the end of term assembly now, and Roy was quietly chattering away, softly so the teachers wouldn’t tell him off. A month’s worth of thoughts were streaming out of his mouth and it was taking all of Moss’ strength not to giggle. He was the chatty one, not Roy. But this was nice. 

Who cared if Daniel was almost definitely watching them. Who cared if that meant another pair of glasses broken after school. Who cared, really?

Certainly not Moss. 

“And that is why I am retiring.” It seemed that he’d tuned into Denholm’s speech at the right moment. 

“What the fuck?” Roy exclaimed under his breath, his attention suddenly fully directed towards the front, where Denholm was speaking, “What did I miss?”

“Whatever you missed, I missed it too.” Moss shrugged. Roy slumped back in his chair. 

“Good news, whatever the reason. Bloody hell…” Moss had to agree with him there. Perhaps this would be the end of Douglas’ reign of terror. 

***

A few rows in front of the boys, Douglas’ hold on Richmond’s wrist slackened. Richmond allowed themselves a small smile, but inside, they were  _ beaming. _ From Douglas’ expression, it was clear that his dad had  _ not _ told him about this. 

This was  _ fantastic _ news. This was the slightest hint of victory. Of freedom. 

They slapped a hand over their mouth to muffle a yelp as Douglas recovered from his shock and went back to delivering a rather painful chinese-burn. 

“This means nothing, fag.” Douglas hissed, his grip getting progressively tighter, “I won’t stop until you’re out of this school.”

***

“Oh god, that’s good. We can run IDAHOBIT after all.” Emily sighed next to Jen. She nodded absentmindedly. 

“Don’t you think that it’s a bit weird, him retiring one term into the year?” All of the girls around her shrugged. 

“It’s Mr Reynholm. He’s done some weird stuff before, this isn’t too out of line. He’s probably been accused of fraud or something. Fake degree? Who knows.” Phoebe rolled her eyes, “As long as he’s gone, it doesn’t matter.”

“I guess…”

“Come on, it’s the holidays!” Taylor grabbed Emily’s hands and pulled her up, moving along the row until everyone was standing. 

“Are you coming to the park, Jen?” She nodded, biting her lip.

“If it’s still okay with you?” 

“Of course, silly!”

“Invite the IT boys if you want.” At that, Jen’s whole body was flooded with happy warmth. 

_ Friends. _

***

“Do you three want to come to the park with us? Em says your little goth friends can come too, Rich?” Jen was rocking on her heels nervously, and Moss couldn’t help but say yes. Roy and Richmond followed suit and Jen was beaming. 

It was a nice sort of day, a good end to the term. 

Reconciliation, sunshine, happiness. All fantastic things. 

Nevermind the looming threat of being beaten up. 

“I’ve just got to grab my english folder, I’ll be right back.” 

Perhaps, in hindsight, he should have asked Roy to come with him. 

“I thought I said to stay away from him, you dirty little fag!”

Being slammed against lockers was never on Moss’ to-do list, but least of all today. 

“That’s strike 2, faggot!”  _ Please, don’t touch my glasses… _ “You know how the strike system works, dontcha?” Moss nodded meekly. 

“Good, good boy. Now get your dirty ass out of here.”

Moss did not need to be told twice. 

_ One strike left. _

***

“Took you long enough!” Roy laughed as Moss finally got back to the group. 

“Ran into a.. Girl from science class. Mia Mendall.” Lying. Never had been his strong suit, but Roy seemed to believe him, which was a first. And even if he’d thrown Mia under the bus a bit, she was a lovely girl, really, just not his type, too… well, female, it  _ was  _ better than the alternative - that he’d spent five minutes trying to stop hyperventilating in a toilet stall adjacent to the locker room. 

“Ooh, older girl, ay? Nice one, Moss! Hey, Jen! Moss’ got himself an admirer!” Jen shot him a shocked look and he nodded quickly. 

“Does… does she want to come to the park, then?” 

“NO! I mean, no, she’s in the year above us. She’s got her own friends. I wouldn’t even bother asking her, no, she’s fine...” Okay, so maybe the first lie had just been a fluke. 

“Oh, okay then. Come on, it’s the holidays!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop- Dr Mendall making a cameo there. Oh, and Denholm is leaving. Got sick of Douglas getting away with everything, and I'm sure I'm not alone. A little longer than the last few weeks, at least, and I had fun with it. Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did!


	8. War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some holiday shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back to school this week so I'm absolutely shattered - hence a short chapter. Heavily inspired by [@thebooshisloose](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/thebooshisloose) 's "Lasertag" oneshot with these two idiot children, but also rather different. Enjoy!

The autumn holidays had never been much to celebrate before. Jen usually spent them on her phone, scrolling idly through social media, binging whatever was the new hit on Netflix and pretending that other people didn't exist, save a select few friends whom she would lean against while on her phone. Sometimes they'd rank the hotness of boys in movies, or prank call the local pizza place (No matter where she lived, pizza places remained the target of prank calls - she'd even started a list, in case the town she was currently in blocked all of her friends' numbers), not that  _ she _ endorsed pranks, but she seemed to have a knack for befriending those who did. So no, autumn holidays were never very eventful for Jen.

But she had to admit, this suburb was different.

"Come on, Jen, you're walking too slow!" Perhaps it had something to do with the pair of idiots (and the goth) that she'd befriended. 

"Sorry Moss!" She called back to the boy, rushing to catch up. He rolled his eyes at her, tugging on his backpack straps nervously. 

"We're going to be late!" He repeated as she reached him, "I'm sure everyone is there already!"

"Remind me, Moss, why we're going to play laser tag?"

"Roy and I play laser tag every holidays, Roy wanted to spend time with Emily, Emily wanted to spend time with you, and then the rest of your 'girl friends' were invited, and now we're running late!"

***

The local arcade was the safest place in the whole region, Moss had decided. That was, if they ever got there. It was rather a happy accident, discovering how close he lived to Jen, but now it was proving a hindrance. 

She was so slow! Slow slow slow slow slow - he timed the thought with his footsteps, letting himself forget that Jen was there. Less stressful, that way. 

"Moss, please - slow down!" For him, anyway.

***

"Finally! Where have you two been? We could've had a round already." Roy was waiting at the entrance, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Jen here likes to walk slowly." Moss shrugged. 

“Nevermind that now, I suppose… the other girls are inside.” Roy ushered them through the door. In no time at all, they were listening to the mandatory safety talk. He and Moss whispered to each other throughout the short video, having seen it many times.

Much to the annoyance of Jen. 

“Will you two  _ please _ be quiet, I’ve never done this before.” This sent them both into fits of silent giggles. (They’d learnt that hard way that laughing loudly during safety videos was not the greatest of ideas.) She glared at them, turning back to the front.

“Go easy on her, mate.” Emily elbowed Roy in the side, “This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.”

***

The small band of teenagers spilled into the smoky arena quietly, as if they were afraid to speak. Moss grabbed Roy’s arm and pulled him into a dark corner, their guns pressed uncomfortably against their sides. 

There were very few physical activities that Moss enjoyed more than laser tag. In fact, it was likely that laser tag  _ was _ his favourite physical activity.

He and Roy had an unspoken agreement here, to be a team, even in solo games. They’d studied the arena year after year, strategizing and planning. 

It was a bit like chess, really. All in the mind. 

The game started and that thought flew out of his brain. 

Laser tag was not half as civilized as chess. No, laser tag was war.

***

Nearly four years before, Moss had stumbled across the tiny arcade after being told to “get out of the damn house.”

It was here that he’d first encountered this war-zone, and first met Roy. 

They’d walked right into each other in the dark and immediately declared war.

It didn’t last long.

***

As the heavy plastic gun in his hand lit up, Roy felt the world around them fade away. 

He’d perfected this mindset throughout every game he’d ever played. 

_ The post apocalyptic world was a barren wasteland, stretched out in front of them.  _

They ran (ahem, walked quickly, as per laser tag rules) up a ramp. 

_ A food source located. Tonight, they would be victorious. _

Moss shot at a target as Roy stood guard. 

_ From over the dry hills, shots are heard. _

Jen and Emily approached from the shadows. A lazer hits Roy in the chest.

_ He grabs his partner’s hand and they run, as fast as they can. He is hit, and Moss will be too, shortly, if they do not get to safety.  _

Phoebe and Taylor block their escape, and they are surrounded.

_ Later, they will tend to each others’ wounds, and Moss will tell him that he’s a ‘ruddy horrible guard’. _

Moss shoots at Emily and Jen, and misses, but they move forward enough that he can get through. 

_ They’ll laugh, and perhaps it won’t be much of a date, but in a post apocalyptic-  _ wait. 

Roy shook his head to clear his thoughts. Moss was no longer by his side, but his ability to shoot had returned. 

He walks backwards, slowly, eyes on the ramp. 

“I’d watch where I was going, if I were you.” _Jen._ _Shit._ He turned around slowly, arms in the air. 

“Don’t shoot.” She giggled. 

“You take this too seriously. Where’d Moss go, I haven’t shot him yet…”

***

Jen won her first round of lasertag, surprising everyone. 

“How’d you get so good at this?” Roy moaned, “Moss and I’ve been playing here for  _ years, _ and we barely came second and third.”

“Cheer up, Roy!” Moss grinned, “It’s not like we usually do any better than that.”

“True.” Roy rolled his eyes, shrugging. Admittedly, if Jen hadn’t caught him shaking off that  _ stupid _ daydream, he might’ve done a whole lot better. Moss had come second, for crying out loud. That was  _ his _ position. Barely in front of Moss. Not barely  _ behind _ him. 

“Another round then?”

_ And back into war. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It's done! You got through it! I'm so tired, lovelies, I really hope you liked it. As always kudos and comment if you did, and let me know if you want some more 'holiday shenanigans' next week or if you're keen getting right into the plot!


	9. Homosexuals (And A Little Bit About Homophobia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's IDAHOBIT! Roy recieves an education.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit longer this week, wo! Hope you enjoy :)

They’d been back at school for about a month, and Roy was sick of it, really he was. The holidays were so much fun! He and Moss could just play video games, eat whatever they wanted, try their hands at writing and illustrating their own comics (with… mixed results), generally doing nothing. Now, though, there was homework and chores and there was barely time for any of that. Hell, they barely even saw each other, save for lunch times. They’d had to switch to different computing classes, with Moss’ first semester and his second, so now they really only had English together. 

He sighed, jostling his school bag so that it sat less awkwardly. He’d missed the bus, and while riding into school didn’t actually take that long, he hated walking in by himself, his bike chained up out the front. It felt rather pathetic, being alone. He didn’t miss Moss’ company  _ that _ much, of course not, what a silly thought - but he did feel a bit lonely without him at his side. 

_ God, pull yourself together,  _ he told himself,  _ it’s one day. One day!  _

“Hey! Roy!” A voice cut through his thoughts. He turned to see Emily waving at him frantically, a small stack of pamphlets spilling out of her hands. He shot her a confused look, pointing it them, and her eyes went wide as she scrambled to get them all back. He laughed, walking over to her. 

“What’ve you got there?” He took one from her, giving it a quick once-over while he waited for an explanation. 

“Trying to raise awareness for our queer-straight alliance group. Today’s the international day against homophobia or biphobia, interphobia and transphobia. IDAHOBIT, for short.” She grinned, thrusting a pamphlet to a younger girl walking past. Roy nodded slowly, taking in what she’s said. 

“D’ you want a sticker?” She produced a roll of rainbow flag stickers from her pocket, “Shit, I’m meant to be giving those out with pamphlets…” 

“I’m okay.” Roy replied, his mind racing. “Where do you fit into this, uh, group?” 

“Oh, uh, I’m a lesbian.” She gives him a shy smile, “You’ve met my girlfriend.”

_ Fuck. _ The pamphlet fell from his hand. 

“You and Phoebe?” Emily shook her head, her face reddening. 

“Nah, her name’s Athena. She joined us when we were playing lazer tag, remember?” Roy took a moment to remember who she was talking about.

“Kinda tall, dark hair? That ‘friend’ of yours that we ‘just happened’ to bump into?”

“That’s the one. You dropped your pamphlet.” Roy hurriedly picked it back up, mumbling a ‘sorry’. Three chimes played over the loudspeakers, cutting him off before he could say anything else. 

“Oh, there’s the first bell. I better run, gotta put these back in the Stand Out, oh that’s what we’re called, by the way, room.” Emily ran off, leaving him standing alone, clutching the slightly crumpled flyer. He looked down at it, and scrunched it into a ball. He didn’t need it. He wasn’t  _ gay.  _

_ Emily fucking is, though, _ he reminded himself. So no girlfriend for him.  _ Dammit. _

Walking over to the closest bin, he found that he couldn’t throw it out.  _ No reason, really, but… _

Well, it’d just be rude to throw it out, wouldn’t it?

“Oi, Roy!” He stuffed it into his pocket. He could get rid of it later. 

***

Jen and Moss sat in the IT room, both sporting several rainbow stickers, courtesy of Emily. Jen, for once, wasn’t on her phone, instead flipping slowly through what Moss thinks  _ might _ be a Shakespeare play. That, or a book of poems. He’s hedged his bets, playing a silent guessing game against himself.  _ Perhaps,  _ he muses,  _ it might just be a fashion magazine.  _

“How come you weren’t handing out stickers like Emily?” Jen caught him watching her, and decided to break the silence. Moss shushed her loudly. 

“Be quiet, will you? Roy might hear!” That was Jen’s answer in itself, but she wasn’t satisfied.

“Oh, come on. You can’t  _ still _ be scared. We’ve got a new principal! Daniel and Douglas aren’t a problem anymore. Unless… have they still been harrassing you, Moss?”

He bites his lip. He can’t lie. He  _ knows _ that he can’t lie. It’s not some strict moral code, rather just a  _ complete _ inability to do it. 

But he thinks back to the last day of term, when he told Roy that he had a crush on Mia. 

He  _ didn’t _ have a crush on Mia. 

He shook his head, and Jen relaxed back against the wall. 

“Roy’s just my best friend, and…” He doesn’t want to think too much about how Roy would react to him coming out. Even mentioning it is enough to make him start to hyperventilate. Luckily, Jen doesn’t push him any further, and Richmond walked into the room not long after. 

“Your… your hair!” Jen exclaimed, looking up from her book. 

“Yeah, do you like it?” They ask, practically beaming (despite the still somber expression on their face.)

“It’s.. very black.” Jen’s smile is about as fake as it gets, but Moss can see how hard she’s trying and Richmond doesn’t seem to realise. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it? It took forever to get mum to give in, but I think it’s worth it.”

“Sure was!” Moss chimed in an attempt to ease the pressure off Jen. She gave him a grateful smile. 

“Thanks, Moss… hey, I found this awesome band!” Richmond pulled their phone from their pocket and Moss felt his heart sink. He’d never really…  _ understood  _ Richmond’s music taste.

“Great!” Jen takes over again, albeit through gritted teeth. 

Richmond presses play on their phone and an intense electric guitar riff fills the air, overlapped with a slightly louder bass line. Jen jumped as it suddenly got louder, more guitars coming in before a singer began screaming lyrics that Moss couldn’t quite make out. 

He covered his ears, and Richmond turned it down slightly, mouthing an apology in his direction.

“What’s this, Rich?” Moss felt an arm slung around his shoulder as Roy entered the room, and he smiled, glad that the occasional physical affection that is very much Roy has returned. 

“It’s Coffin Fodder by Cradle of Filth. Beautiful, isn’t it?” Richmond paused it so that Roy could hear them. 

“Yeah, sure, let me look up the lyrics.” Moss knew that Roy didn’t care, really, but they’d always encouraged Richmond’s eccentricities, however weird. They’d become a little family over the years, but Roy had always shot that idea down. 

“This is poetry!” Roy was staring intently at his phone now, and Moss couldn’t help but blush. Roy just happened to be cute when he was focusing, that wasn’t Moss’ fault. 

“I know…” Richmond nodded dreamily, “I did say it was beautiful.” Roy joined them in staring off into the distance for a moment, but he quickly shook himself out of it, turning to Jen. 

Moss, however, turned back to his own phone, taking a sip from his drink bottle. Jen and Roy talking rarely concerned him.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Emily was a lesbian!?” The water he was about to swallow goes all over his phone. Coughing, he looked at Roy, surprised. 

“Are you alright, Moss?” Jen asked him, and he nodded, gesturing for them to continue as he wiped off his phone. 

“I’m going to put this in my locker.” He told Richmond, waving his drink bottle, and hopped off the table to leave the room. 

***

“Well, you don’t exactly keep the best company.” Jen shrugged. Roy raised his eyebrows. 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“So you think I should have just outed a gay girl to someone who’s best mates with one of the most homophobic jerks in the school?”  _ What was she talking about? Moss? Surely not… Although he had just left the room at the mention of Emily being gay, so... _

“Moss?” Jen sighed.  _ What had he done? Wait. Fuck.  _ **_Daniel._ ** It was almost like she could see the realization in his eyes. “... Daniel!?”

“Do you know what he did to Moss after he walked you home on Athletics Day?” He was scared now, she looked angry. 

“If I say no, are you gonna hurt me?”

“God, Roy, no- Just, do you? He shook his head. Now he was scared for a different reason. What had his friend done?

“He and some other guys pulled him off the street and beat him up, Douglas-style. Told him to stay away from you.” 

Suddenly, everything made sense. Daniel’s constant asking about Moss. Moss’ month-long avoidance of him. His calling Daniel a jerk. 

Roy put his head in his hands. 

“Really…?” His voice cracked slightly, and he winced.  _ Way to show your weakness, Roy. _

“Do you think Moss would lie to me?” 

“He can’t lie.” Roy replied automatically. “Not verbally, anyway. Spews out nonsense lies.”

“Well, then.” And Roy felt his heart break for his friend. For  _ Moss. _

Who had  _ suffered.  _ All because he helped Roy get home safely. All because he was a good friend. 

Unlike that monster. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped like a month because this needed to happen, sorry :) And yes, I did actually listen to 'Coffin Fodder' for this. Real song. Real poetry. You can't hear a word of it, but the official lyrics are rather beautiful. Hope you enjoyed, let me know in the comments!


	10. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things Happen. (TW for non-graphic sh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my absence last week, I was so tired. This one's a liiiittle tiiiny bit longer but it's also not very fun so I am warning you now. Nongraphic selfharm, my lovelies, be safe.

_ It feels almost dystopian, out here.  _

_ She walks as though the world is ending, but she knows she's got all the time she has left, right there in her hand.  _

_ She stands in the grass, not smiling as it brushes against her ankles.  _

_ The wood rots, the wind blows, the world is ending.  _

_ She walks towards the beast with yellow eyes because she knows that there is nothing she can do now. Hands on the rotting wood, she inhales. _

_ The time is almost up.  _

_ And it is only her out here.  _

_ She wills the rain to fall because she is too tired to cry.  _

_ Above, the birds tease her with their freedom. _

_ For the animals will remain when she is gone.  _

_ She cannot tell if they sing of joy or of sadness, but supposes that it does not matter.  _

_ She will be gone, soon, anyway. _

_ In the distance, a bell chimes.  _

_ It is not the one to signal her end, but it marks someone else's.  _

_ She will not hear hers.  _

_ Words spill over her lips silently, for there is so much to say and no one to hear.  _

_ No one to listen to her confess that she's not ready.  _

_ But the world is ending and she has no choice. _

Moss’ eyes scanned over the page, searching for the red pen scribbles at the bottom. His teacher’s handwriting really was terrible. 

_ “Well done, an excellent start! You’ve really nailed the brief :)” _

He eventually decoded the message and sat back in his chair with a grin. He’d never exactly enjoyed English class, but he’d really found his calling in the task. Next to him, Roy groaned. 

“Submit again? This is a very good snippet. What part of this isn’t enticing and suspenseful?” He threw the paper down on the desk, rolling his eyes at it as it barely made a noise. Clearly, Moss decided, he'd been wanting a loud thump to add emphasis to his point.

“Let me see.” Moss slid the page across the table, and held back a sarcastic remark as he discovered what Roy’s ‘teaser snippet’ was. “They were all dead.” Glancing over at Roy, he was torn between being disappointed & disapproving and giggling. 

Eventually the latter won out and Roy was looking at him, confused, as he choked back laughs behind his hands. 

“What’s wrong with that?” He demanded, his face steadily growing redder. 

“ _ They were all dead!!!”  _ Moss put his glasses on the table as he wiped away tears. 

“And?”

“Roy! Did you even read the instructions?” Roy shook his head. 

“I read the first line.”

*** 

English had never been Roy’s favourite subject. It was far from being Moss’, but reading his assignment, Roy felt like he was meeting an entirely new person. Since when was he so good at creative writing?

Well, he supposed, Moss had managed to keep his friends’ homophobia from him, for what Roy was starting to suspect was years. Maybe he  _ didn’t _ know Moss. 

But he had to! Moss was his  _ best  _ friend. 

More than that, really. Wasn’t he? They were… What were they?

*** 

Jen had initially been rather excited to find out that part of her role in the IT club was to help out with the school productions. 

Now, however, she was less sure. 

“You mean to tell me that we are going to spend nights in this box?” She looked around the small tech booth apprehensively. 

“Yes.” Moss answered at the same time Roy answered “Not me.”

“Why not you!?” Jen put her hands on her hips and glared at him. She didn’t  _ want  _ to make the lights follow the actors around the stage. She wanted to.. work on costumes or something. Not this! 

“I-” Roy made a grand gesture, sweeping his hands down, “Am the stage manager.” 

“And so what’s Richmond doing then, hm?” 

“Richmond’s Morticia.” Moss supplied from the corner of the booth, where he was fiddling with some cords, trying to find one to attach to his laptop. 

“Can you repeat that, please?” Jen stared at him. 

“Richmond’s Morticia. Come on, Jen, you can’t seriously have missed that.” Moss rolled his eyes, adjusting his glasses to look at her more judgmentally. “Do you even know what the production  _ is? _ ”

“The Addams Family.” She crossed her arms, “I’m not  _ stupid,  _ Moss.” Roy smirked. “Oh, shut up, Mr Can’t-Sew.” His grin faded. 

“This is going to be great!” Richmond appeared in the doorway, and it took Jen aback that they were actually rather perfect for their role. 

“Sure is!” Moss stood up. “I think I’m done in here, we can head back to the room.” 

“Thank  _ god. _ This room is tiny.” Jen stood up, straightening her skirt, “Can’t I just help you with stage stuff, Roy?” He shook his head. 

“I’ve already got an assistant. ‘Sides, Moss needs you here.” 

“Oh, fine. Let’s just get out of here.” Jen followed him out of the room and stood for a moment, taking in the stage. “Why do we even have a theatre?”

“The principal before Reynholm was really invested in the arts. Brilliant, isn’t it?” Richmond smiled, staring at the stage wistfully, “I can’t wait for dress rehearsals.”

***

“It’s nice to see you on Wednesdays again.” Roy slouched down next to Moss on the bus, “It’s been a while.”

“What are you talking about, Roy? I’m always here on Wednesdays.” Moss regarded him quizzically.  _ Play dumb. No awkward questions. Don’t tell him about Stand Out. _

“You know. Lunch times! You and Richmond, gone every Wednesday. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say…”  _ Oh, fiddlesticks. What’s he thinking?  _ Moss shuffled in his seat, adjusting his backpack straps. Roy looked away, and that didn’t reveal any of his thoughts to Moss. He’d always struggled with facial expressions, but it was impossible to work it out if the person you were trying to read wasn’t even  _ looking  _ at you. 

“Look, we’re moving.” He made a halfhearted attempt at changing the topic, but it only earned him a confused look. 

“Yeah, Moss. We’re on a bus. That’s… kinda what it does.”

“Sorry.” He turned his attention back to his backpack. 

“I can’t believe that Ms Rosebury is making me redo the teaser blurb assignment again.” Roy began to speak again, and Moss didn’t bother to look up. That was just how they were. No need for eye contact, no need for acknowledgement, they just listened. Over the years he’d learnt how to tell if Roy was paying attention or not, and it was unspoken, but he was sure that Roy knew the same of him. 

They were best friends, weren’t they? They had no secrets, a plethora of inside jokes, plenty of memories. It was perfect. 

Of course, nothing perfect could possibly last forever and Roy was going to hate him soon and it was going to suck and everything would be awful and -

Before his mind could turn to anything darker, he made an inexplicably horrible decision. 

“See you tomorrow, Moss.” Wasn’t it such a good thing that they always sat at the front? So that Moss could lean over the railing and quietly tell Roy - 

“Stand Out runs on Wednesdays.” And then before he could reply, “I’m gay.” 

He watched as Roy got off the bus. Watched as the words registered in his mind. Watched as he lost his best friend forever. Watched as Roy raised a hand and called out something that Moss couldn’t hear, that was probably “I hate you.” Watched as...

He could no longer see Roy, and perhaps that was for the best. 

***

“I’m sorry!” Roy called out, watching helplessly as the bus pulled away from the curb, taking his best friend with it. 

Why now? What had prompted that? Sure, he’d be asking, but they’d moved on from that, he’d given up on getting an answer but… but that? Then?

“Are you okay. Dude. Please. Come on.” His younger sister, Siobhan, tugged on his shirt, dragging him towards the crossing lights. “Seriously. What was that about? What could Moss have possibly said to you to require a forlorn apology?” She didn’t wait for an answer, and Roy stumbled along behind her numbly. 

_ Gay. _

***

Homework. One task, two tasks, three. Roy hadn’t done this much work in one sitting all year, but he couldn’t stop. 

A steady stream of thoughts occupied his mind, but he tried to ignore them. 

Dinner passed quickly and easily, and he slipped back into his room. Some part of his brain whispered that he would be better off among his family, but he ignored it. 

On and on and on and he bids everyone good night and suddenly it’s midnight. 

He looked up at his clock with tired eyes.  _ Time to get ready for school!  _ He joked to himself. 

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.” He mumbled, barely aware that he had spoken out loud. He rushed around the room, checking the weather and digging out his shorts because “thank god it’s not going to be cold..” 

He checked the pockets out of habit, even if they weren’t going into the wash, and he found the flyer that Emily had given him the week before. 

He slumped down on his bed to read it properly for the first time. It’s hand drawn, photocopied and rather crude, really, decorated with what he could only describe as pride flag animals, their identities written below them in a messy cursive that he recognised as Emily’s. 

“Stand Out! Queer-straight alliance group. Everyone welcome, community, questioning or ally. Wednesdays, C6.” For some reason, the words cut like knives, and he clutched his chest, unable to breathe or speak and…

“Moss.” Every thought he’d done his best to shove deep deep down came rushing to the surface and… oh fuck, he thinks, he’s crying. 

_ The first day they met, in the dark, dusty, long forgotten lazer tag arena.  _

_ Discovering that they were off to the same school after weeks of playing at the arcade. _

_ Joining the dying IT Club.  _

_ The camps and excursions and adventures they had as the years progressed until they were inseparable.  _

_ Moss’ worried looks when he passes out in English before a Maths test that he  _ **_needs_ ** _ to take.  _

_ Realizing that he cared about Moss  _ **_too_ ** _ much.  _

_ Taking Richmond under their wing(s). _

_ Being in a million different classes without each other for the first time. _

_ Missing Moss so much it hurts.  _

_ Learning sign-language with him for all of two weeks when he suggests that they can talk in class.  _

_ Making fun of him as he continued to learn it.  _

_ Reading his stupidly good creative writing (it’s been good all along) _

_ The apocalyptic world they’ve built together in lazer tag.  _

_ The family they’ve built outside of it.  _

Moss is so much more than his best friend.  _ Too  _ much more. 

“You. Deserve. Pain.” Roy hissed to himself. Because this? This is bad, bad bad bad bad  _ bad.  _

His eyes flashed to his desk.  _ Scissors. _

“Too  _ easy. _ ” 

Dimly, he recalls a baby Siobhan bruising her arm by biting it. 

***

Bruises, while rather painful and unsightly, have a weird beauty to them. An entire galaxy, right there on your shoulder, where only you can see. 

A complete world of pain and it’s all for you. It’s all yours. 

Roy let the sobs shake his body, hand over his mouth as he muffled the sound. Not that he was making much sound, the ability to make sound had disappeared with the ease of breath. 

He was so tired. He was so  _ bad.  _

Things had been perfect. He and Moss were perfect. 

What were they meant to be now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm mean. (SH TW - Fun fact cutting is not the only form of selfharm and bruising is one that fascinates me, personally. That sounds a bit weird but as an ex-cutter who started with bruising, I find it rather interesting how they differ. ) The production will be a plot point so musical theatre fans, this is for you! See you all next week for some Angst (TM). Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did! (Please sufficiently trigger warning any comments you might make about selfharm, please and thank you.)


	11. Treat Her Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go well for Jen. (TW - SH mentions)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is a bit short, sorry, it's been a week. Enjoy anyway and skip between the first and second "***" if mentions of SH are triggering.

Roy hadn’t mentioned Moss’... outburst, and a week had passed. That was alright though. It wasn’t the ‘I hate you’ that Moss had been expecting. And it wasn’t like they weren’t talking. Because they were. They were talking a lot, actually. 

He’d been helping Roy with his English task, and somehow he’d managed to produce a paragraph that actually impressed the teacher, for once. It wasn’t often that Roy let him help with anything, so it had been nice, giving tips and listening to Roy read his work aloud. 

It had been nice, but it hadn’t been  _ good.  _ Because something was wrong with Roy. To anyone else, he would have appeared normal. Certainly, Jen hadn’t noticed, and it wasn’t just Moss that Roy was being weird around. 

But he  _ knew  _ Roy. And something was up. 

“Mornin’.” Moss looked up from his phone as Roy sat down beside him. 

“Good morning!” He chirped back, cringing softly because  _ too high, too loud, sounds silly.  _

And it was as if someone had flipped a switch on Roy, because he was normal. Moss sighed with relief as Roy gazed out of the window, rather than asking questions about Moss’ opinions on the weather. Roy got chatty when he was upset. This had always amused Moss, because he personally just shut down. But not Roy. 

No, Roy was cuddly when he was sick, and chatty when he was sad. Like he needed to hide himself, but needed comfort too. 

***

The bruise was finally gone, and Roy couldn’t have been more relieved. It wasn’t like anyone was going to see it, but it felt like a heavy weight, always on his mind. 

It had been a mistake, really, he didn’t selfharm, it  _ wasn’t  _ selfharm, but whatever, it was gone now. 

The dull yellow smudge from last night was gone, and it  _ wasn’t  _ coming back. His hand drifted up his sleeve despite himself, and he pressed gently where it had been before. 

It no longer hurt, so he was fine. 

“The weather’s getting colder…” He mumbled, and Moss gave him a strange look, almost as if he was disappointed. 

“Yes, well, that’s what winter does to it.” He said, finally. Roy nodded, and settled back into his seat. As long as he didn’t think too hard, Moss would always be there. 

That was a comforting thought. 

***

Jen had never been in the boys locker room before, but she needed to see Roy and Moss before school. Not because they were  _ friends  _ or anything, no, she didn’t  _ desperately  _ need to tell them that Peter had asked her out. 

On second thought, though, that was exactly what was happening. She giggled. Six months had changed a lot for her. 

“Moss! Roy!” She ambushed them as they walked in, “You’ll never guess!”

“Peter asked you out?” Roy rolled his eyes at her, “I know. He asked me if we were dating because he didn’t want to.. ‘Step on my toes.’” He punctuated the sentence with air quotes. Jen blushed, drawing her books closer against her chest. 

“He got it right, Jen.” Moss poked her gently. 

“Yes. Yes!” She thrust a hand in the air, “Of course, you knew before I did. Whatever was I thinking?”

“Sorry, Jen.” Roy shrugged, “Excellent news, though. We’re really happy for you, aren’t we, Moss?” He nodded. 

“Very happy!” She smiled, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. 

“Thank you. Oh, there’s the bell…”

***

“Do you think he heard you?” Jen asked, watching Moss anxiously for his reaction. She’d asked the same question every day, but he was yet to have an answer. Today, she wasn’t even sure that he was listening. 

No, he was watching Roy (and Richmond, but mostly Roy, going from the faint blush on his cheeks), across the room. He was sharing Richmond’s earphones, and judging by the faint traces of heavy metal drifting from their direction, probably ‘enjoying’ some of Cradle of Filth’s finest. 

“Knock, knock.” She leapt off the desk and threw herself at the newcomer. 

“Peter!” She’d had her fair share of boyfriends, of course, but this was, admittedly, the first time that she’d really cared. Usually, she was lonely and just wanted something that she could end easily. Losing friends, she had discovered, was harder than losing boyfriends. 

Peter, however, was both. 

“Hallo!” Moss waved enthusiastically, “You better be taking good care of  _ our  _ Jen.”

“Wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.” He grinned, pulling her close and holding her tight. 

“Don’t mind Roy and Richmond, they’re listening to… oh, what was it? Extreme metal. Can’t hear a thing, don’t bother.”

“Noted.” And there was that beautiful smile again. She didn’t think she could possibly get tired of it. “I was wondering if you’d like to come and watch the concert with me? I know it’s a bit loud, but a lot of my friends are in the band.” 

“The concert?”

“Lunch time rock? In the courtyard? Surely you’ve seen the posters, Jen.” Moss chimed in. 

“Oh!  _ Oh.  _ Is that today? Of course I’ll come! Lead the way!” With a final wave to Moss, she followed her boyfriend out of the room. 

***

“Was that Peter?” Roy pulled out the earbud he’d been using. Moss nodded. “He better treat her right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like this, even if it is super short. As Roy's experiences are largely based on my own, (although I had internalized polyamphobia, not homophobia), I think I am doing a pretty good job at writing them? Get mad at me in the comments if I'm not, I always want to improve! Hope you liked it, kudos and comment if you did!


	12. A Distinct Lack of Energy Called Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's mid-year exams!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun with this oh my god - yeah sorry about the unannounced hiatus, I shall be updating Mondays and Wednesdays for the next few weeks to make up for it!  
> Enjoy the IT dorks.

Roy sighed, arching his back and leaning over the chair. Moss, across the room, responded with a yawn.

“Royyy…” Jen tugged on his shirt, “Come down here and help me.” He rolled his eyes and sunk down in the chair, slipping onto the floor with a groan. It was the last week of term 2, and they barely had time to breathe between assessments. 

“If it’s quadratics, I can’t help, ask Moss.” 

“Moss is  _ busy. _ ” She batted her eyelashes in a way that Roy would find endearing, had he had any energy to feel anything. 

“Go ask Peter then.” He pushed her face away from him. They were all so  _ tired, _ surely Jen could deal with the maths herself. No one would ever be able to get it into her head like this, anyway. 

“You’re boring. Mooo-” Roy clamped a hand over her mouth. 

“Don’t, he’ll snap at you.” He said quiety, trying not to snap himself. He stretched his back again, pulling himself into his chair. When Jen didn’t say anything, he went back to glaring at his own maths notes. 

Ten minutes passed before anyone spoke again. 

“Sorry, Jen. I’m exhausted.” Roy knelt down beside her, his hand anxiously tapping against his hip. He reacted  _ wrong,  _ she was  _ hurt,  _ he should have said  _ sorry.  _

“We all are.” She laughed softly, rubbing her eyes. He untensed, the tapping slowing to a stop. Inhaling, he racked his brain for how to help her. Well, help them both. 

“Tell me about your date with Peter.” When she gave him an odd look, he added, “We need a break, and a distraction.” To his relief, she nodded, and began to do as he had asked. 

It was nice, watching Jen ramble. Different to Moss, who was all bouncy and flappy, loud and squeaky (if he  _ really  _ got going). No, Jen was more happy than excited, and she had a dreamy look in her eyes, as she blushed revealing that he kissed her on the cheek at the end of the date. 

“We’re going to watch the Harry Potter movies over the holidays, now that it’s getting colder. He’s really into them.” she finished, cheeks red and beaming. 

“Those movies are absolute shite, Jen, everyone knows that. Although that Tom bloke isn’t too bad looking… I mean! Bad at acting! He isn’t too bad at acting!” He stammered, hands over his face as it lit up with his embarrassment. Sure, sometimes he thought that Tom Felton’s Draco  _ was  _ attractive. In a very normal, straight way. He was allowed to admire people, dammit! It wasn’t  _ gay,  _ or anything like that.

“Who…?” He rolled his eyes, peaking out at her between the gaps of his fingers. 

“Tom Felton. You know, the one who plays Draco?” She shook her head again. 

“Who!?”

“Oh my  _ god,  _ Jen, the evil blond.” He rolled onto his back with a sigh. 

“ _ OOH.”  _ She lay down beside him, grinning. “Yeah, he’s hot.”

“I didn’t say that.” He turned away from her, even though she could still see him blushing regardless. “Shut up!” He told her firmly as she kept giggling, which seemed to shut her up. To be on the safe side, he got up and pulled a chair over to beside Moss.

***

Roy was here to distract him. As usual. But he couldn’t! He wouldn’t! 

Crushes aside, he had tests to pass! Projects to hand it! 

He was skipping Stand Out. He was here to  _ study.  _

“Come on, Moss, you need a break.” No, he didn’t, actually. Didn’t Roy want to pass?

He didn’t, because Roy didn’t  _ care,  _ he just did well, he just  _ fumbled  _ his way through life and maybe! Maybe that worked for him. But it didn’t work for Moss. 

It  _ couldn’t.  _

Roy was tugging at his hand. He brushed him off, gently, gently, he could never  _ hurt _ Roy. 

“Moss…” He swatted him away again, still furiously copying down quotes onto a sheet of lined paper. Roy could fail, if he wanted. But Moss wouldn’t. No, he was  _ prepared.  _ He was going to do well, because he’d  _ worked  _ for it, and it was going to be okay. 

If he did this  _ now,  _ he wouldn’t have to stress later. 

“Leave me alone, Roy!” It came out a lot harsher than he had intended, and to his horror, Roy looked… almost scared. But Roy moved away. Roy was gone, and he could  _ focus.  _

Roy would be fine, Roy was always fine. 

***

“Moss, love, please…” 

Jen felt the world stop spinning. What were  _ those  _ words?  _ That  _ tone? 

Coming from  _ Roy?  _

And Moss didn’t even look up.  _ Roy  _ didn’t even seem to register what he’d said.Well, then. She hadn’t heard that. Hadn’t happened. Something to address later. 

“You did say that he’d snap if someone distracted him.” She remarked to a very wounded-looking Roy with the kindest tone she could muster. 

“He doesn’t usually snap at  _ me _ …” Roy looks so  _ forlorn _ , and she can see that whatever energy and happiness he had left had now left him. An empty, exhausted teenage boy. 

_ Two  _ empty, exhausted teenage boys. 

“I’m going to get a drink.” She announced loudly, breaking the silent tension. Richmond would know how to help the boys. And she knew just where to find them.

***

He had hurt Roy, now, hadn’t he? 

But no, he couldn’t have, Roy had retreated, become small and quiet and that wasn’t sad Roy behaviour.

That wasn’t Roy behaviour, full stop. Roy was loud! Humming and crying and chatting! He didn’t just… go silent. This.. wasn’t good?

It was good for Moss. It was  _ very  _ good for him. The silence was perfect. 

He stood up and moved to sit next to Roy on the floor.

“Sorry.” Roy sighed, turning away from him slightly. 

“Don’t be.” 

“It’s Wednesday.” He replied, unhelpfully. What was Moss meant to gather from that? It was a statement. An accurate one. But it meant  _ nothing.  _ Roy was just addled. Too much school work. Unless… yes. Stand Out. 

“Oh. Yes. I prefer being with you. Why, do you not want me here?”

Roy didn’t reply, but smiled weakly, slumping against Moss with a weariness that Moss was all too familiar with. 

***

“Should we wake them up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavily based on my experiences with a few of my friends during stressful school times. ANYHOW hope you enjoyed, kudos and comment if you did!


	13. Fine, Okay, Nothing Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winter holidays start awfully. But hey, there's always tomorrow. (SH mentions)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short but hey! Bi-weekly updates? Pretty cool! Enjoy this, trigger warning for sh mentions.

It happened again. Roy wasn’t quite sure  _ why _ . He’d shoved the whole thing to the very, very back of his mind. But yet… 

He’d just been so  _ worried. _ He and Moss had hung out that afternoon but Moss had seemed weird… sad, almost. And then he wouldn’t reply to messages. Messages that he was  _ reading.  _ Surely,  _ surely,  _ something was wrong. 

And he just couldn’t sleep! Because his brain was so  _ loud.  _ So many what-ifs. 

But  _ last time,  _ his brain had shut up immediately. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was  _ why.  _

Regardless, there was another bruise. 

He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he listened to the rain, right hand gently pressing down on his darkened skin. 

This was fine. He was fine.

***

Moss was not fine. Moss was very much not fine. 

“Come on, love, don’t cry..” His mum pulled him in for a hug as she finished rubbing arnica along his arms. He couldn’t help himself, though. He’d been  _ so _ strong for Roy that afternoon, but that didn’t  _ fix  _ anything. 

He hadn’t even been brave enough to  _ tell  _ Roy. Jen had told him everything that Moss had told  _ her,  _ but Moss himself… and he’d had an opportunity! He used to tell Roy all about Douglas, but… well, Daniel was different. He wasn’t, really, but… to Moss? It was a  _ very  _ different situation. 

For one thing, Douglas couldn’t care less about Roy. Daniel’s motivation  _ was  _ Roy. Well, protecting Roy from the ‘horror’ that was homosexuality. 

And Roy didn’t need to know that. 

“S-s-sorry…” He stammered, sinking further into his mum’s embrace, “I shouldn’t have gone that way.” 

“Don’t apologise to me, darling boy… Someone needs to deal with that boy, and it’s not your fault if he feels the need to hurt you because you’re comfortable being yourself.” He opened his mouth to protest, because  _ actually,  _ no one outside of his two clubs  _ knew  _ that he was gay. But he didn’t say anything. His mum was so  _ proud  _ of him. He couldn’t ruin that. 

He had it better than Richmond, anyhow. He wasn’t the one getting screamed at off-campus 

(where the school had no power) nearly daily. He was  _ lucky.  _

He’d just let his guard down, was all. It was just bad luck that Jen and Richmond weren’t the only ones to see he and Roy asleep in the IT room. 

“Anyway, you’ve got that little tech crew thing tomorrow, that’s something to look forward to, right?” He nodded numbly, forcing himself to smile, finding that actually, it  _ was  _ something to look forward to.

“Yep! Did I tell you that…” His mum relaxed as he began to ramble. Yes, everything was… going to be okay. Perhaps not then, but it would be.

***

There was nothing better than the sound of footsteps on a stage. In Richmond’s opinion, anyway. Here, there was nothing and no one who could bring them down. 

“Yeah, that’s good, Rich, just stay there…” Moss’ voice echoed down through the theatre. A bright spotlight turned on above them, and it was from years of experience that they didn’t even flinch. 

This was their  _ very  _ first year with a lead role, though. Through primary school and the past 2 years of productions, they had never thought they’d have the honour to play a role quite so important as Morticia. 

“Says we need chairs for this scene, miss?” Roy wandered onto the stage behind him, a battered looking script book in his hands, highlighter precariously tucked behind one of his ears, giving him quite the look of exhausted stage manager. 

And they were only in blocking stages. It would all be uphill from here. 

“Hey, Richmond? Which scene is this?” The girl playing Wednesday, a super shy, but super lovely brunette named Jessica whom Richmond was hopelessly crushing on, asked. 

“We’re just sorting out lights. Come wave at the IT club with me.”

She shyly took a few steps forward until she was sharing the spotlight with them. They had the strongest urge to wrap their arm around her, but kept it firmly pinned to their side. 

Because Douglas said that they were unworthy of love. Because Jessica couldn’t possibly be interested in them. Because everyone (well, everyone who mattered) was here, watching, and if it went wrong…

“Thanks, Richmond,” Jen, this time, “We’re good to go. Can we have scene one set, please?”

“Let’s get this show on the road!” Roy called back, and from the wings, everyone cheered.

Richmond felt a hand settle around their waist, pulling them back, off the stage. 

“No need to be so nervous, hmm?” Maybe they  _ were _ worthy of love, actually. Screw Douglas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm yeah I kinda love this? Short and horrible but I think it captures what's going on. Um... Realism-wise? If you're gonna come at me for that... my school does holiday rehearsals for our yearly production, and Roy's experiences with SH are being written with first-hand experience in mind. I am using an acronym for 'SH' because I know that it can trigger some, including myself on occasion. Cool! Think that's everything explained... uh... hope you liked, kudos and comment if you did!


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